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(Drunk) Newbie, would you give me some trouble, I'm having a little help here.

Dr. Cox

Dr. Kim: Yep, you've got the pink eye.
Patient: Can I put my pants back on?
Dr. Kim: Right after I put some drops in.

You know what I do when I have a really tough time getting through things? I just leave the city, get into nature and just stalk of what really is important...Just make sure that you don't go to a popular parachute drop zone (gets hit by a parachuter.)

Elliot

Jack: Daddy drinks a lot.
Jordan: His first complete sentence. Fantastic.

J.D.'s Narration: The truth is, thanks to modern medicine, 80 isn't that big of a deal anymore. It's not like the olden days.
Fantasy J.D.: Let us not feel sorrow for Bobby Adams. He was 12. He lead a full life. He will be missed, especially by his beautiful wife, Jenny, who stood by him even when he turned six, had a midlife crisis and was caught banging one of those people naked people that brought us corn.
J.D.: I'd be the oldest man in Pilgrim Village.

Hello Perry. I don't really know why I'm here but nurse Espinosa said that if I didn't swing by that she would stop coming over to my house and giving instructions to my pool boy. He speaks perfect English but he doesn't have any front teeth so I can never look at him without laughing.

Dr. Kelso

Turk: Damn! That boy is going to town on that carrot.
Dr. Kelso: You fellas want to go to a real donkey show? It's really very tastefully done. I understand that one of the woman who entertains the donkeys used to be on Soap.
J.D. & Turk: Pass!
Dr. Kelso: Well, standing invitation every Thursday.
J.D.: Always pass, sir.
Dr. Kelso: Well, I'll ask Mickhead.

I guess after all this time I still think of you as like this superhero that will help me out of any situation I'm in. I needed that. But that's my problem, you know, and I'll deal with that. I guess I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am. Not because you did the best you could for those patients. But because after twenty years of being a doctor... when things go badly you still take it this hard. And I've gotta tell you man, I mean... that's the kind of doctor I want to be.

J.D.

Carla: ...unless there are any questions, this meeting is adjourned.
Elliot: Oh!
Dr. Kelso, Turk & J.D.: Awww! Gosh!
Elliot: What?!
Dr. Kelso: For God's sake, Reid! There is a donkey-boy upstairs.

Jordan: Hello Bob...No cheek kiss necessary.
Dr. Kelso: Oh good, I have pipe breath. Sooo...When was the last time I was here, '97? I know it has been a while because Enid could still fit through that door. I shouldn't joke, she is very ill.

(Janitor hits J.D. with a wrench)
J.D.: Owww! (points at Turk) He is the one that needs to cry you idiot, not me!
(Janitor hits J.D. again)
J.D.: Owww!
Janitor: Oh yeah, I forgot about that crying stuff...

Elliot: Oh it was so sad.
Janitor: I know! When I first heard about it I was like, "Whoa! No way!"
J.D.: You don't even know what we are talking about.
Janitor: Sure I do - the donkey-boy on ICU.
Carla: We are talking about Dr. Cox.
Janitor: Oh...Well if anyone is interested, there is a donkey-boy in the ICU.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 4008 in total

Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
Carla: What did you just say?
J.D.: "What up...dogg?"

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.

J.D.