J.D.'s Narration: Maybe he just needed time to heal, or maybe he just needed to see how much everybody cared. But I'd like to believe that it was because of me that he was finally able to say this:
Dr. Cox: You don't drink scotch.

Patient: I'm just worried about this mole.
Dr. Kim: Doesn't look cancerous. Eeeh, get in there and take your pants off.

Keith: Did Elliot leave without telling me?
Jordan: Why is there an intern in my bathroom? It's not my birthday.
Keith: She made me watch.

(Drunk) Newbie, would you give me some trouble, I'm having a little help here.

Dr. Cox

Dr. Kim: Yep, you've got the pink eye.
Patient: Can I put my pants back on?
Dr. Kim: Right after I put some drops in.

You had a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.

J.D.

Todd: Nurse I need you to help me to drain some fluid. But first we are going to have to get to work on this patient.
Turk: Todd, take this scalpel and carve this into your arm: No nurse will ever touch your dangle.

You know what I do when I have a really tough time getting through things? I just leave the city, get into nature and just stalk of what really is important...Just make sure that you don't go to a popular parachute drop zone (gets hit by a parachuter.)

Elliot

Carla: Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?
Elliot: When my brother Barry came out of the closet my parents send him to hetero-camp.
Carla: Families that aren't from Connecticut.

Turk: How the hell am I supposed to cry?
Janitor: You need to cry, let's brainstorm. I could hit you over the head with the wrench, or I could stab you in the gut with the knife. Knife-Wrench! Practical and safe.

Jordan: Hello Bob...No cheek kiss necessary.
Dr. Kelso: Oh good, I have pipe breath. Sooo...When was the last time I was here, '97? I know it has been a while because Enid could still fit through that door. I shouldn't joke, she is very ill.

Turk: Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?
J.D.: Okay, let it out. I've got you. J.D. has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.

Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: Hey, I heard a great joke. A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "Well, if you think you're a moth, why are you at a dentist's office?"
J.D.'s narration: Oh, no, I forgot the punchline... You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
J.D.: ...So the moth says "That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I...I do dabble in orthodontry - braces and such." And... and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
J.D.'s narration: "The light was on"!
J.D.: "But! To answer your original question, which was, if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office? The answer is, Because the light was on!" The light! The light, James. Moths love light. So, James, other than your funny bone being broken, what seems to be the problem?

J.D. [to Cox]: you won't admit this, but you're in love with Carla.
Carla: No, he's not.
Dr. Cox: Actually, I am.
Carla: You're starting again.
J.D.: And Carla, you're mad that Turk didn't trust you enough to tell you.
Turk: See? Trust, woman, trust!
J.D.: Whatever. The point is that Turk is sorry.
Turk: Not anymore!
Carla: I can't believe you thought he was a threat.
Dr. Cox: I'm a threat!
Carla: You're not in love with me, you idealize me.
J.D.: Can we just try and stay focused...
Turk: You're mad 'cause I'm scared of losing you?
Carla: Yes, because we're stronger than that!
Dr. Cox: Apparently not!