Are you a TV Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized television news for free!
Elliot: Oh it was so sad.
Janitor: I know! When I first heard about it I was like, "Whoa! No way!"
J.D.: You don't even know what we are talking about.
Janitor: Sure I do - the donkey-boy on ICU.
Carla: We are talking about Dr. Cox.
Janitor: Oh...Well if anyone is interested, there is a donkey-boy in the ICU.
- Permalink: Oh it was so sad. I know! When I first heard about it I was li...
J.D.'s Narration: The truth is, thanks to modern medicine, 80 isn't that big of a deal anymore. It's not like the olden days.
Fantasy J.D.: Let us not feel sorrow for Bobby Adams. He was 12. He lead a full life. He will be missed, especially by his beautiful wife, Jenny, who stood by him even when he turned six, had a midlife crisis and was caught banging one of those people naked people that brought us corn.
J.D.: I'd be the oldest man in Pilgrim Village.
- Permalink: The truth is, thanks to modern medicine, 80 isn't that big of a ...
You know what I do when I have a really tough time getting through things? I just leave the city, get into nature and just stalk of what really is important...Just make sure that you don't go to a popular parachute drop zone (gets hit by a parachuter.)Elliot
- Permalink: You know what I do when I have a really tough time getting throu...
Patient: I'm just worried about this mole.
Dr. Kim: Doesn't look cancerous. Eeeh, get in there and take your pants off.
- Permalink: I'm just worried about this mole. Doesn't look cancerous. Eeeh...
Carla: Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families do when one of their own is in trouble?
Elliot: When my brother Barry came out of the closet my parents send him to hetero-camp.
Carla: Families that aren't from Connecticut.
- Permalink: Alright people, listen up! We are a family and what do families ...
Hello Perry. I don't really know why I'm here but nurse Espinosa said that if I didn't swing by that she would stop coming over to my house and giving instructions to my pool boy. He speaks perfect English but he doesn't have any front teeth so I can never look at him without laughing.Dr. Kelso
- Permalink: Hello Perry. I don't really know why I'm here but nurse Espinosa...
Mrs.Tracy: You can have her organs.
J.D.: Thank you
Mrs.Tracy: Just tell me one thing, is there anything that anyone could have done?
J.D.'s narration: Unless you mean me.
- Permalink: You can have her organs. Thank you Just tell me one thing, i...
J.D.: Hey, hungry?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I guess that lunch was kinda a one time thing, huh?...There's no way you could've seen that coming. I mean, rabies? Come on, there's like three reported cases a year. In fact testing for it, would have been irresponsible...you would have wasted time that people didn't have.
Dr. Cox: I was obsessed with getting those organs.
J.D.: You had to be, the fact is that those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make a call...I would've made the same call.
Dr. Cox: Yeah?
J.D.: Yes. Anyway, I got us lunch and I think we should eat it.
J.D.'s narration: Right then, I knew I was gonna pull him outta this. But unfortunately, sometimes the hospital picks a day where it's just gonna pile it on.
(Their pagers beep)
Dr. Cox: Oh god...come on.
- Permalink: Hey, hungry? No. I guess that lunch was kinda a one time thi...
Elliot: Hey, what did you do last night?
Carla: Turk made me watch "Anaconda" with him.
Elliot: Oh is that the one with the giant snake?
Todd: No. (Points to himself) This is the one with the giant snake. I was back here for 45 minutes waiting for a setup. My back is killing me, but I nailed it. It is about commitment.
- Permalink: Hey, what did you do last night? Turk made me watch Anaconda w...
Gloria: Todd? Is he the big black security guard with the hook-hand?
Elliot: Uhm.. No..
Gloria: Then no.
- Permalink: Todd? Is he the big black security guard with the hook-hand? U...
Surgeon: Todd, you were impressive in surgery today.
Todd: Thanks man! You were really impressive in the shower this morning. You know, dong wise.
- Permalink: Todd, you were impressive in surgery today. Thanks man! You we...
Dr. Cox: God. Could this be anymore of a nightmare?
J.D.'s narration: Yes. It could be more of a nightmare. Jill Tracy was a former patient that had once tried to kill herself. Sad, yes. But this did not change the fact that she was unbelievable annoying.
Jill: Oh, my god. What are you doing here? I was supposed to meet a guy for a date. I know what you are thinking: a Tuesday lunch in a supermarket, he is so not into her. Well, he is not! (J.D. and Dr. Cox fake laugh) I waited like an hour, just thinking: How many more guys can totally reject me without saying 'enough'? You know. So, would you like to get some lunch.
J.D.: Oh, we have to get back to the hospital
Dr. Cox: You know what, Newbie? Stay, have lunch. (Runs quickly out of the store)
- Permalink: God. Could this be anymore of a nightmare? Guys! Yes. It cou...