(Janitor hits J.D. with a wrench)
J.D.: Owww! (points at Turk) He is the one that needs to cry you idiot, not me!
(Janitor hits J.D. again)
Janitor: Oh yeah, I forgot about that crying stuff...
- Permalink: Owww! He is the one that needs to cry you idiot, not me! Ow...
Turk: Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?
J.D.: Okay, let it out. I've got you. J.D. has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.
- Permalink: Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive? Oka...
(Drunk) Newbie, would you give me some trouble, I'm having a little help here.Dr. Cox
- Permalink: Newbie, would you give me some trouble, I'm having a little help...
Elliot: Oh it was so sad.
Janitor: I know! When I first heard about it I was like, "Whoa! No way!"
J.D.: You don't even know what we are talking about.
Janitor: Sure I do - the donkey-boy on ICU.
Carla: We are talking about Dr. Cox.
Janitor: Oh...Well if anyone is interested, there is a donkey-boy in the ICU.
- Permalink: Oh it was so sad. I know! When I first heard about it I was li...
Turk: How the hell am I supposed to cry?
Janitor: You need to cry, let's brainstorm. I could hit you over the head with the wrench, or I could stab you in the gut with the knife. Knife-Wrench! Practical and safe.
- Permalink: How the hell am I supposed to cry? You need to cry, let's brai...
You had a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.J.D.
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Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you go out would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I got a hot Italian sausage for you, right here. People think I just luck into these situations but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit.
- Permalink: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you go out wo...
J.D.: Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself for peoples' deaths there's no coming back.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, you're right.
- Permalink: Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself...
J.D.: Hey, hungry?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I guess that lunch was kinda a one time thing, huh?...There's no way you could've seen that coming. I mean, rabies? Come on, there's like three reported cases a year. In fact testing for it, would have been irresponsible...you would have wasted time that people didn't have.
Dr. Cox: I was obsessed with getting those organs.
J.D.: You had to be, the fact is that those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make a call...I would've made the same call.
Dr. Cox: Yeah?
J.D.: Yes. Anyway, I got us lunch and I think we should eat it.
J.D.'s narration: Right then, I knew I was gonna pull him outta this. But unfortunately, sometimes the hospital picks a day where it's just gonna pile it on.
(Their pagers beep)
Dr. Cox: Oh god...come on.
- Permalink: Hey, hungry? No. I guess that lunch was kinda a one time thi...
Elliot: Hey, what did you do last night?
Carla: Turk made me watch "Anaconda" with him.
Elliot: Oh is that the one with the giant snake?
Todd: No. (Points to himself) This is the one with the giant snake. I was back here for 45 minutes waiting for a setup. My back is killing me, but I nailed it. It is about commitment.
- Permalink: Hey, what did you do last night? Turk made me watch Anaconda w...
Elliot: Oh my god, he looks so sad.
Carla: I just want to hold him like a big, gay baby.
Turk: This is incredible, an hour ago you hated him!
Carla: An hour ago he wasn't our new, gay best friend!
- Permalink: Oh my god, he looks so sad. I just want to hold him like a big...
Todd: Hey Mickhead! Is that package for me? You know it is!
Turk: You ladies must be so proud.
Elliot: Todd, what are you doing?
Todd: I'm getting my gay-on. Hey buddy, you and I should totally have sex sometime.
Turk: See, I knew this was going to come back to me.
- Permalink: Hey Mickhead! Is that package for me? You know it is! You ladi...