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Janitor: Okay, two coins equals 30 cents, no nickles. I swear, we've done this before...Come on man! You went to Yale, for god sake!
Troy: Relax...I figured it out.
Janitor: A penny and... a button that you wrote '29 cents' on. You think I don't recognize your hand writing?
Troy: Can't we just kill him?
Janitor: How's therapy going?
- Permalink: Okay, two coins equals 30 cents, no nickles. I swear, we've done...
Troy: Oh, your face is red like a 'strawbrary'.
Janitor: Don't have kids.
- Permalink: Oh, your face is red like a 'strawbrary'. Don't have kids.
Dr. Cox: Nice helmet!
J.D.: Actually it is not a helmet, it is a 'hairmet'. You see, it's got extra room built in so you don't mess up your hair due.
Dr. Cox: I'm going to write you a prescription for two testicles. You get it filled whenever.
- Permalink: Nice helmet! Actually it is not a helmet, it is a 'hairmet'. Y...
Carla: (She sees Turk holding a beer) What are you doing? (He threatens to open it) You better not open that. (He opens it) Okay, you better not drink it. (He takes a sip) All right, You better not enjoy it. (He expresses enjoyment, Carla bitch slaps his beer)
Turk: Did you just bitch slap my beer?
Carla: Are you calling me a bitch?
Turk: Yes. Yes, I am!
- Permalink: What are you doing? You better not open that. Okay, you better...
Barbie, are you a real doctor, or a doctor like Dr Pepper is a doctor?Dr. Cox
- Permalink: Barbie, are you a real doctor, or a doctor like Dr Pepper is a d...
Listen Reid, normally any damage to Dr. Cox's oversize ego would be cause for celebration. And yet, for some reason I'm not wearing a party hat sitting bare-ass on the hospital's copier machine. You know why? It's not because I have "Johnny" tattooed on my butt. He was an old navy buddy and if you went through what we did you'd understand... It's because your little theory is way off.Dr. Kelso
- Permalink: Listen Reid, normally any damage to Dr. Cox's oversize ego would...
Hot Female Doctor: You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.
Todd: ...In your endo.
- Permalink: You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innue...
(To J.D.) Hey, come over here. We want to do stuff to you.Janitor
- Permalink: Hey, come over here. We want to do stuff to you.
J.D.: (Looking at his destroyed bicycle) What the hell?!
Janitor: (Holding a softball bat) Its a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a softball bat and a crowbar. One of them wasnt me.
J.D.: Oh! Thats what happened to my old bike!
- Permalink: What the hell?! Its a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike wi...
Dr. Cox: How about we just agree that we're never gonna be that close?
Elliot: We could, except for one thing. I know we have our issues, but I've always respected you, and you haven't given me more than an ounce of that since I started here.
Dr. Cox: ...I didn't go into that bathroom to take a leak. I went in there because I was petrified that I was gonna make the wrong decision about Mrs. Goldstein. And I didn't want anybody to know, because it is so very important to me that people see me the way they used to. Bulletproof. And hopefully admitting this to you will make you feel respected.
- Permalink: How about we just agree that we're never gonna be that close? ...
Carla: ...unless there are any questions, this meeting is adjourned.
Dr. Kelso, Turk & J.D.: Awww! Gosh!
Dr. Kelso: For God's sake, Reid! There is a donkey-boy upstairs.
- Permalink: ...unless there are any questions, this meeting is adjourned. ...
J.D.'s Narration: The truth is, thanks to modern medicine, 80 isn't that big of a deal anymore. It's not like the olden days.
Fantasy J.D.: Let us not feel sorrow for Bobby Adams. He was 12. He lead a full life. He will be missed, especially by his beautiful wife, Jenny, who stood by him even when he turned six, had a midlife crisis and was caught banging one of those people naked people that brought us corn.
J.D.: I'd be the oldest man in Pilgrim Village.
- Permalink: The truth is, thanks to modern medicine, 80 isn't that big of a ...