Scrubs Season 1 Quotes
[in an elevator full of people]
Mr. Bursky: I just had bad gas. What are you testing me for?
J.D.: We need to know if your gas could be harmful to others
Since I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything -- storms, sirens, you name it. Last night, I didn't sleep
J.D.'s narration
J.D.: Hey, I was, uh, I was paged.
Carla: Aww. First day, Bambi?
J.D.: Yeah.
Carla: Carla will take care of you.
Dr. Kelso: The necrosis and infected stool most likely indicate what, Dr... Dorian?
[J.D. looks to Elliot for help]
Elliot [whispers]: I don't know
J.D.: Sir, I have no idea.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, can you help him out?
Elliot: I'd say it's superior mesenteric insufficiency
J.D.: I thought we cared about each other...
Elliot: Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.
J.D.: Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!
Elliot: Do me right here.
J.D.: Okay.
Elliot: See!
Turk: Wait. Tell me if I'm going too fast, okay?
Carla: Lose the clothes
Laverne: I need to see you in Mr. Bursky's room.
J.D.: Are you flirting with me? You are, aren't you!
J.D.: Well, I think it's okay to be scared.
Turk: Well, I need you to tell me that every once in a while, man.
J.D.'s Narration: He needs me?
Turk: Anyway, I just came to check up on you; see how you're doing.
J.D.'s Narration: Ask him to move in again.
J.D.: You know, Turk, the offer still stands if you wanna...
Turk: Dude, I already took the keys out your bag
Dr. Kelso: Okay... Uh, did you ask the Bursky family for permission to do an autopsy?
J.D.: They're still in there with him, sir.
Dr. Kelso: It's a teaching hospital, son, you gotta ask.
J.D.'s Narration: Just tell him you can't see Mr. Bursky again. He'll understand.
J.D.: Sir, do you-do you think I could skip just this one?
Dr. Kelso: Why, sure, sport.
J.D.'s Narration: See? Every story needs a good guy.
Dr. Kelso: In fact, why don't you just head on home. You look kinda tired.
J.D.: I am pretty tired!
Dr. Dorian, do you not realize that you're nothing but a large pair of scrubs to me? For God's sake, the only reason I carry this chart around is so I can pretend to remember your damn names!
Dr. Kelso
If you're talking about getting the Bursky autopsy, I already called the family for you. And they said fine, and to thank you, and I'm sorry... They didn't say that last part, I did.
Elliot