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Dr. Cox: Oh, ho, ho, ho, Scooby! A married woman whose husband is still in a coma? Hoo, hoo! Can't tell you how many happy couples I know who got started just that way.
J.D.: Oh, will you relax... we just got a beer. Whatta you got there?
Dr. Cox: One hundred free booger suckers - and you'll say nothing. Oh, and Toto, please, oh please, keep hanging out with her. Because I'm really gonna enjoy watching this one bite ya right on the ass. And I good & guarantee you - she will.
- Permalink: Oh, ho, ho, ho, Scooby! A married woman whose husband is still i...
Jamie: So, you still haven't asked me why I called the hospital, pretended to be your sister, got your home address, and showed up in the middle of the night.
J.D.: Jamie, you've got a lot going on right now. I'm sure you're...a little confused...
Jamie: It's time for me to start my life over. And I would love to take you out to dinner, if you would be interested.
J.D.'s Narration: Holy crap!
Jamie: Jack wouldn't want my life to be over.
Jamie: My husband.
J.D.: Mr. Moyer!
Jamie: Call him Jack.
J.D.: I'd rather not.
- Permalink: So, you still haven't asked me why I called the hospital, preten...
Dr. Cox: Okay, Mrs. Brady, we're gonna try to break up your kidney stone with Lithotripsy. In the meantime, we're gonna put you on Percocet for the pain.
Mrs. Brady: I can't take pain-killers - Justin's still breast-feeding.
Dr. Cox: Ohh, you like milk, do ya? Hah. Why don't you get on your bike and go down to the store and get some.
- Permalink: Okay, Mrs. Brady, we're gonna try to break up your kidney stone ...
Dr. Cox: What is with these mothers doting on their children? My God! It's like... it's like nobody else even exists in the world anymore! But I tell you one thing - and you damn sure take it to the bank - my mother never paid that much attention to me.
J.D.: It doesn't show.
- Permalink: What is with these mothers doting on their children? My God! It'...
Elliot: J.D., you'd trust me on something that was important to me, right?
Elliot: See? That's what I'm looking for! Huh?
Paul: Elliot! We're talking about dried meat, here! Why would you get in the middle of this?
J.D.: I don't know what I was thinking.
- Permalink: J.D., you'd trust me on something that was important to me, righ...
Dr. Kelso: Son, a hospital staff is like a melting pot! We all need to respect each other. Now, if you think that a specific ethnic group is loud or lazy or sneaky...
J.D.: Or ridiculously closed-minded and inappropriate...
Dr. Kelso: Exactly!... Just keep it to yourself, dammit!
- Permalink: Son, a hospital staff is like a melting pot! We all need to resp...
Dr. Kelso: What?
Janitor: Oh, nothing, sir. I just-I thought of something funny.
Dr. Kelso: Well, maybe what you should do instead is saddle up your mop and head upstairs - someone has vomited in the second, third, and fifth floor hallways.
- Permalink: What? Oh, nothing, sir. I just-I thought of something funny. ...
J.D.: Good work, buddy. Here's your twenty bucks. So you can really throw up whenever you want to?
Ralphie: Hell, yeah!
J.D.: We should probably look into that... You know, right after you blow chunks in the elevator.
- Permalink: Good work, buddy. Here's your twenty bucks. So you can really th...
J.D.: I decided to take Jamie out on a date.
Turk: You know - Tasty Coma Wife?
Elliot: No way!
Dr. Cox: Nice job, there, Hooch. I'll tell you what - you give me a little prep time, and I'll rig it so that the husband can come with ya. Honest to God, I'll have him sittin' up right next to ya, no problemo. Whatta you say?
- Permalink: I decided to take Jamie out on a date. Who? You know - Tasty...
Jamie: Thank you so much for dinner.
J.D.: You're welcome.
Jamie: But what was the deal with tipping twenty dollars on a thirty dollar bill?
J.D.: Ah, nothing. I just-I love Chinese food... and... the Asian people!
- Permalink: Thank you so much for dinner. You're welcome. But what was t...
Jamie: ...Kiss me.
J.D.: I could do that.
Jamie: Mm! You went left! Very cool.
J.D.'s Narration: Thank you, Rowdy!
- Permalink: ...Kiss me. I could do that. Mm! You went left! Very cool. ...
Jamie: So, it's cold outside - you wanna come back to my place?
J.D.: Uhh... Honestly, I think you--you might be moving a little fast for yourself. And there's a part of me that's very angry I just said that.
Jamie: I'm so sick of being alone, you know?
J.D.: I'll tell you what, if you look me in the eyes and you tell me that you're really ready to start something right now... we won't even need a cab - I will, like, I will throw you over my shoulder and just sprint the twelve miles to your house!
- Permalink: So, it's cold outside - you wanna come back to my place? Uhh.....