"If there is something you know you can do, whether it's intubating a patient, or copping a squat on the roof, and your mind keeps throwing up road blocks, just know you can drive right through them..."

Dr. Casey

Turk: Look, I get outta here at 4, ceremony doesn't start until 5. Worst case scenario, I'm a little late for the wedding.
Carla: Do it!
Elliot kicks Turk
Turk: Oh! Whoa!
J.D.: Dude, you're dealing with a nervous bride, a woman I scorned, and two sisters with three eyebrows.
Turk: See you at 5!

Turk: Why isn't the band playing?
Laverne: In a word? Shrimps. Nasty, one-day-old shrimp. The band got into 'em while we was waiting at the church for your sorry ass.

Sean: So, what have you been up to?
Elliot: Doctor stuff. Heh. You?
Sean: Oh, I-I was crying a lot. And then I got really emotionally numb. Um, oh, and this morning, I jammed a salad fork two inches into my thigh to see if I could still feel the pain.
Elliot: And?
Sean: Oh, yeah.
Elliot: Good.

Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so...there's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and...well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me!
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch.

You can't let him drive her home. She says goodbye the naughty way.

J.D.

J.D.: Hey, where's the fuzzy cover for my one-wood?
Turk: It's on my nine-wood.
J.D.: Aw, dude! My mom made that!

Turk: Hey. How's it going, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Actually, it's Father Fitzpatrick.
Carla: Could you do us a quick favor?

Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, honey. Are you waking up?
Jordan: Why are you in such a hurry?
Dr. Cox: I'm not in any kind a hurry!
Jordan: Did you dress me?
Dr. Cox: Fine. Carla scares me, okay? She may be small, but she has very powerful legs.

J.D.: Where're the other bridesmaids?
Elliot: They're out buying an eyebrow.
J.D.: Well, that's gonna be tough on a Saturday, with Eyebrows Eyebrows Eyebrows being closed. They're gonna have to go all the way across town to the Eyebrow Hut.

... Turk, Turk, Turk, Turk. I can't talk right now! I'm at your wedding.

</i>

J.D.: Ted! Can you play a little music for us, buddy?
Ted: It's gonna cost you double what you paid us for the church.
Turk: Here's twenty.
Ted: Aaaand, here's four back.

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni

Carla: I wanted those red cummerbunds because that's the theme!
Turk: Red is a theme?
Carla: Love is the theme! We're in love, you idiot!