"If there is something you know you can do, whether it's intubating a patient, or copping a squat on the roof, and your mind keeps throwing up road blocks, just know you can drive right through them..."

Dr. Casey

Carla: I want everyone to get along.
Elliot: (To J.D.) I hope you die.
Carla: Elliot...
Elliot: AFTER the wedding.

Marco: Oh, my God. I just figured it out. This is one of those reality shows where our sister tries to convince us that she's gonna marry some obnoxious-agh!
Turk's mom grabs Marco by the ear.
Mrs. Turk: We haven't really had a chance to talk yet. I'm Mama Turk.
Marco: Oh, hey. How ya doing?
Turk: Damn, that looks painful.

Turk: Why isn't the band playing?
Laverne: In a word? Shrimps. Nasty, one-day-old shrimp. The band got into 'em while we was waiting at the church for your sorry ass.

Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so...there's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and...well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me!
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch.

J.D.: Where're the other bridesmaids?
Elliot: They're out buying an eyebrow.
J.D.: Well, that's gonna be tough on a Saturday, with Eyebrows Eyebrows Eyebrows being closed. They're gonna have to go all the way across town to the Eyebrow Hut.

Carla: No music. I swear, Turk, I am this close to losing it!
Dr. Cox: Carla?
Jordan: It's okay.
Dr. Cox: I-I just wanted to say that that was one of the most beautiful ceremonies that I've ever seen.

J.D.: Danni, what are you doing here?
Danni: We RSVP'd when we were still dating.
J.D.: You can't just crash my best friend's wedding!
Danni: I'll go halvsies on the gift.
J.D.: Right this way, please.

Sean: So, what have you been up to?
Elliot: Doctor stuff. Heh. You?
Sean: Oh, I-I was crying a lot. And then I got really emotionally numb. Um, oh, and this morning, I jammed a salad fork two inches into my thigh to see if I could still feel the pain.
Elliot: And?
Sean: Oh, yeah.
Elliot: Good.

... Turk, Turk, Turk, Turk. I can't talk right now! I'm at your wedding.

</i>

J.D.: Ted! Can you play a little music for us, buddy?
Ted: It's gonna cost you double what you paid us for the church.
Turk: Here's twenty.
Ted: Aaaand, here's four back.

Dr. Kelso: I'll just have a club soda. I'm driving home.
Bartender: It's an open bar.
Dr. Kelso: Give me a bucket of scotch!

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni

Turk: You know, I'm actually starting to like Journey.
J.D.: Well you're gonna be very pleased with the next twenty-three songs.