Turk: Hey! Baby! Check this out! You ain't gonna believe what I did with Rowdy!
Carla: Turk! You're not supposed to see me on our wedding day you idiot!
Turk: She's mulling it over.

"I do." And then it's classy kiss... Or sexy kiss... Or slutty kiss...

Carla

Elliot: I just love you so much.
Carla: I love you too!
Elliot: Even though I ripped off your sister's eyebrow?
Carla: That's okay... You know, this morning she actually said she was gonna look better than me!?
Elliot: Not anymore!

J.D.: Where're the other bridesmaids?
Elliot: They're out buying an eyebrow.
J.D.: Well, that's gonna be tough on a Saturday, with Eyebrows Eyebrows Eyebrows being closed. They're gonna have to go all the way across town to the Eyebrow Hut.

Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, honey. Are you waking up?
Jordan: Why are you in such a hurry?
Dr. Cox: I'm not in any kind a hurry!
Jordan: Did you dress me?
Dr. Cox: Fine. Carla scares me, okay? She may be small, but she has very powerful legs.

Turk: Look, I get outta here at 4, ceremony doesn't start until 5. Worst case scenario, I'm a little late for the wedding.
Carla: Do it!
Elliot kicks Turk
Turk: Oh! Whoa!
J.D.: Dude, you're dealing with a nervous bride, a woman I scorned, and two sisters with three eyebrows.
Turk: See you at 5!

Marco: Oh, my God. I just figured it out. This is one of those reality shows where our sister tries to convince us that she's gonna marry some obnoxious-agh!
Turk's mom grabs Marco by the ear.
Mrs. Turk: We haven't really had a chance to talk yet. I'm Mama Turk.
Marco: Oh, hey. How ya doing?
Turk: Damn, that looks painful.

Marco: I knew that jackass would screw this up!
Todd: Did you just dis my friend, Turk?
Marco: What are you gonna do about it, meathead?
Todd: My friend, I am about to make you look very silly!
Todd prepares to hit Marco but Marco gives him a push and he tumbles off the altar
Laverne: Things are starting to heat up.

Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so...there's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and...well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me!
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch.

Turk: Why isn't the band playing?
Laverne: In a word? Shrimps. Nasty, one-day-old shrimp. The band got into 'em while we was waiting at the church for your sorry ass.

J.D.: Hey, where's the fuzzy cover for my one-wood?
Turk: It's on my nine-wood.
J.D.: Aw, dude! My mom made that!

Elliot: Oh, my God! You're actually getting married in a few hours! I mean, everything's gonna be all different. Carla, you never have to have sex again except for when you actually want to.
Carla: I know!!!

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

... Turk, Turk, Turk, Turk. I can't talk right now! I'm at your wedding.

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Sterile high-five!

Todd