J.D.'s Narration: There she is! Do something charming.
J.D.: Elliot, check it out. Kelso gave me his car keys.
He tosses the keys, hitting her in the face.
Elliot: Ow! What are you doing?!
J.D.: I'm-I'm just trying to think of ways to make things right!
Elliot: Well, you can cross off keys in the face!

Carla: I can't believe he's not here yet!
J.D.: Don't worry! I made it!
Carla: I don't care about you, you idiot!
J.D.(to the priest): They had premarital sex.

Marco: I knew that jackass would screw this up!
Todd: Did you just dis my friend, Turk?
Marco: What are you gonna do about it, meathead?
Todd: My friend, I am about to make you look very silly!
Todd prepares to hit Marco but Marco gives him a push and he tumbles off the altar
Laverne: Things are starting to heat up.

I just wanna wish you two all the luck in the world because, you see, the key to marriage is... work.

Dr. Kelso

Dr. Miller: So, are you ready for your appendectomy?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Hey, what do you do with an appendix after you've removed it?
Turk: We make finger puppets.

Elliot: I just love you so much.
Carla: I love you too!
Elliot: Even though I ripped off your sister's eyebrow?
Carla: That's okay... You know, this morning she actually said she was gonna look better than me!?
Elliot: Not anymore!

Turk: Look, I get outta here at 4, ceremony doesn't start until 5. Worst case scenario, I'm a little late for the wedding.
Carla: Do it!
Elliot kicks Turk
Turk: Oh! Whoa!
J.D.: Dude, you're dealing with a nervous bride, a woman I scorned, and two sisters with three eyebrows.
Turk: See you at 5!

Worthless Peons: "(Bum-bum-bum) Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava na-"
J.D.: Ted! Church!
Ted: We do mostly Bar Mitzvahs.

Turk: Okay, Carla's dying, it's rally time. We have no band, we have no DJ. You're my best man - brainstorm.
J.D.: Remember that after-party we had in college, when the stereo went out and I ended up hooking up with that grad student from Brazil?
Turk: Yeah?
J.D.: That was awesome.
Turk: Woo hoo, you made out with a little person.
J.D.: I thought she was kneeling.

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