Carla: No music. I swear, Turk, I am this close to losing it!
Dr. Cox: Carla?
Jordan: It's okay.
Dr. Cox: I-I just wanted to say that that was one of the most beautiful ceremonies that I've ever seen.

J.D.: Danni, what are you doing here?
Danni: We RSVP'd when we were still dating.
J.D.: You can't just crash my best friend's wedding!
Danni: I'll go halvsies on the gift.
J.D.: Right this way, please.

Sean: Elliot, do you wanna get out of here?
Elliot: Sean, look, I don't know what J.D. told you, but... if we're gonna give this another try, you need to know that I didn't end things with you because I was freaking out about us living together. I did it because... J.D. and I have this history and... I actually thought he might be the one. But I just ended up getting my heart broken.
Sean: Sucks, doesn't it?

Elliot: J.D.! It's not happening. Besides, if Sean and I are meant to be together, I never would have gone home with you that night and sabotaged everything that I had with him.
J.D.: You and I are gonna be okay, right?
Elliot: What do you think?
J.D.: Probably not... Elliot! You let me know when we are.
Elliot: Don't hold your breath.

Elliot: Oh, my God! You're actually getting married in a few hours! I mean, everything's gonna be all different. Carla, you never have to have sex again except for when you actually want to.
Carla: I know!!!

J.D.'s Narration: Besides, somehow you always seem to end up with the person you're meant to be with.
Janitor: One, two, three.
J.D. and Janitor lift the chair with a pssed out Dr. Kelso sitting on it
J.D.: Thanks for helping out.
Janitor: I'm only going as far as the dumpster.

Dr. Miller: So, are you ready for your appendectomy?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Hey, what do you do with an appendix after you've removed it?
Turk: We make finger puppets.

J.D.: So, do you ever miss the ladies?
Latino Priest: Sometimes.
J.D.: I would, too.

I just wanna wish you two all the luck in the world because, you see, the key to marriage is... work.

Dr. Kelso

Carla: I can't believe he's not here yet!
J.D.: Don't worry! I made it!
Carla: I don't care about you, you idiot!
J.D.(to the priest): They had premarital sex.

J.D.: I didn't steal Elliot from you, man! She just panicked 'cause you guys were moving in together!
Sean: I don't know, J.D...
J.D.: Sean, if you have any guts at all, you will show up at this wedding, take her into your... hairy arms, and tell her you want her back!... You should... probably shower first.

J.D.'s Narration: There she is! Do something charming.
J.D.: Elliot, check it out. Kelso gave me his car keys.
He tosses the keys, hitting her in the face.
Elliot: Ow! What are you doing?!
J.D.: I'm-I'm just trying to think of ways to make things right!
Elliot: Well, you can cross off keys in the face!

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni

Danni: Be brilliant today!
J.D.: I always am.