J.D.: Isn't it great being so comfortable with someone, you don't have to talk?
Danni: Hmm.
J.D.: Anyway, the point is, silence is awesome.

Turk: How was the liquor store, big guy?
Dr. Cox: What're you talking about?
Turk: Your six-pack. Much love!
Dr. Cox: I don't know what you're talking about, there, butch. I don't know if you're sucking up to me or making a pass at me, but I say you skip it and we continue in our state of mutual disdain.
Turk: Dr. Cox, you got it all wrong, man! I don't disdain you! It's quite the opposite - I "dain" you. Yeah. I think if you get to know me better, you just might "dain" me, too.
Dr. Cox: Here that's interesting. Of course, it's gibberish, but it's-it's interesting nonetheless.

Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and pass, and here's why: You're a typical surgeon, and as a rule you guys are insensitive and egotistical and you have the sense of humor of about a fourth grader.
Turk: That's just not true.
Todd: Who wants to touch my giant balls?

J.D.: Well, your kidneys healed up enough to release you, but no sparring in karate class for two months.
Randall: Two months!? That's a real punch in the crotch!
J.D.: Randall, could you stop using that expression? Because I can't get it out of my head.

J.D.: Hey, Laverne, my girlfriend's coming by; would you mind giving her the keys to my apartment?
Laverne: You know, I shacked up with a man before I was married, too. His name was Jesus.
Elliot: Our generation has the exact same morals and values as yours.
Carla: Come on, Elliot. Let's go find ourselves a man-whore!

Dr. Cox: Lookit, here's the rule, there, porn-star: The moment her toothbrush hits your sink, you've got yourself a permanent roomie.
J.D.: There'll be toilet paper everywhere!

Elliot: This is so exciting! The closest I've ever come to breaking the law was in sixth grade, when Alex Peterson sold his mom's Virginia Slims out of his guest house.
Carla: Wow! Was he a Blood or a Crip?
Elliot: He was Lutheran.

Elliot: Ha! What a rush! I mean, I have never slept with a prostitute before, but if it is half as much fun as buying one, sign me up!
Cop: Hey! Quiet down back there!

Now, even though I won't be performing the transplant, I am a key member of the surgical team. It's too complicated to explain what it is I do, but in layman's terms I... I guess you'd call it "watching."

Turk

Dr. Cox: Look. Barry... Barry's a... he's a great guy.
Turk: Yeah. I totally forgot the rule to the transplant list is no drinking... unless Cox says you're a great guy

Elliot: Slim, what are you in for?
Criminal: Robbery.
Elliot: Mm. Prostitution!
Carla: Would you please stop enjoying this so much?

Ohhh, hey Dr. Turk, you old turtle-headed pain in the ass. Aw! Dammit all, Perry, that is so not what you came down here to say! Now you're better than that!

Dr. Cox
Displaying quotes 589 - 600 of 981 in total

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Powerful tiny fists...

J.D.

J.D.: Beads, keep me strong!
Turk: What?
J.D.: Nothing.

x Close Ad