Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Elliot: (After giving a woman an orgasm during a pelvic exam) Let's go, Sean.
J.D.: Shouldn't you buy her breakfast, first?
J.D.: You know why I wanted that to be you in 'The Fugitive'? Because it would mean you used to be a guy who had dreams and ambitions; and even though things didn't work out the way you'd hoped, at least it would explain why you are the way you are and...make you human. But instead, it turns out you're nothing more than a... a jerk who just likes to mess with people for no reason.
Janitor: "Kimball!"... You tell anybody, I'll kill ya!
Doug: Hey Klaus, in your country, how come Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with hamburgers or hot dogs?
Janitor(German accent): Why is your Lake Titicaca not filled with boobs and poop?
Janitor(British accent): Oh, Todd, you simply must sample one of these tea buns my mum sent over from Sussex.
Todd: Up high two times. One's for "buns", one's for the "sex" part of Sussex! Come on!
J.D.: I think the Janitor's pretending to be British.
Doug: You mean Klaus, the German guy?
Janitor: Guten Tag, Doug.
Doug: Thanks!
Janitor: That means "nice haircut."
J.D.: No it doesn't!
Janitor: Mind your own beeswax.
Todd: You know, Nigel, I'm twenty-five percent British.
Janitor(British accent): Really? I'm one hundred percent not interested!
Todd: Ohh! Classic Nigel!
Dr. Cox: So you're saying your mom made you pancakes this morning, and you didn't even know that it was pancake day in the cafeteria? You get outta here!
Doug: And the craziest thing -
Dr. Cox: No, I'm serious, Nervous Guy. Get outta here!
Danni: I love 'The Fugitive'. Who would you rather sleep with, Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
J.D.: Harrison Ford, hands down!...But you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day!
Carla: "Day"?
J.D.: What is wrong with you? Is this because I called you "Smelliot"? Because I can't believe you haven't heard that before.
Elliot: J.D., I don't care if you call me that.
J.D.: Hey, everybody! She's cool with "Smelliot"!
Todd: Oh, so he can call you "Smelliot" but I'm not allowed to call you "Vagina Face"?
Elliot: Not the same, Todd!
J.D.: You're an actor.
Janitor: You're a fireman! What are we doing?
J.D.: Game over, Klaus. I saw you in 'The Fugitive'.
Janitor: Ohhh, yeah, yeah. I was in a Harrison Ford movie, but, you know what, I chose this life instead 'cause it's a little more glamorous.
Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ. There's some vomit on the back steps with your name on it.
Janitor: Well, that's my cue. Action!
I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I got depressed and my dad didn't make me feel better - Actually, he did give me a dollar every time I got depressed. By the end of junior high, I already had a hundred and seventy bucks... And then got mugged and lost it all. But, by the end of that night, of course, I was back up to a dollar.
Elliot
Carla: But you know what? It's okay. Because I couldn't handle marriage until now. And I knew you when you were younger, and you would have been a horrible dad. Now? We're both ready.
Dr. Cox: Do you... do you think that my son will like me?
Carla: Oh, God, no.
