Scrubs

Scrubs Season 4 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 4 Episode 22: "My Big Move"

J.D.: It was barely even a kiss dude; it was like an accidental lip bump, like oops.
Turk: WHOOAAA! Don't even look at her. Sit on the floor.
J.D.: Sitting.
Carla: Fine, I'll show you with Elliot.
Cut to cafeteria
Todd: Something wonderful is happening.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: However, if you'd like to know about why I'm butting in, it's because your young patient Lindsay here, when she was 10 years old, I'm the one who diagnosed her with epilepsy and now that her medication is no longer controlling her seizures, I'd like to know what's going on. Besides, over the years, Lindsay and I have developed quite a rapport. Hey Lindsay, what's up girlfriend?
Lindsay looks at Cox, then looks away with embarrassment.
Dr. Cox: See, rapport.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Nice, huh?
J.D.: Who gets a tattoo of a mop?
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Can I get up, my butt is asleep.
Turk: NO!
Carla: Turk, you know how I was so upset because you started calling your ex-girlfriend? I just couldn't understand how a married person could slip up like that, now I do. I'm so sorry.
J.D.: Me too buddy.
Turk: Guys, as insane as this may sound I'm actually gonna be OK with this. Just do me a favor, no more apologies and no more explanations and for the love of God, honey, no more girl-on-girl kissing demonstrations.
Cut to Cafeteria
Todd: Something horrible has happened.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Listen to me carefully, I know all about what it's like to be a teenage girl, wah wah wah. Course, I never had to try to convince my mother that I sure would have liked a navel ring.
Elliot: Oh, well, we were all going to Jamaica and my friend Susan...
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: (Motionless face and voice) Owwww! I think you separated my shoulder, the pain is excruciating.
Turk: What?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: What? What! Were you gonna eat that? How about this, let's all have fries, huh, let's all have fries! You want fries!?!
Carla: Turk, you said you were OK!
J.D.: My fries!
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: You gave me a cursed uniform!
Dr. Kelso: Ha, ha, ha, it's not cursed, its simple psychology. I chose Robin's-Egg blue because it has a calming effect on people & I knew it would be the thorn in your paw. Other colours evoke different reactions, for example bright orange has been found to provoke hostility.
Ted: Doctor Kelso, I wanna thank you again for the tie.
(Ted is thumped in the arm by Todd)
Todd: Fist Five!
Ted: OWW! It's the third time today.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: After sharing a quick victory dance with Roland, the heavy-set orderly who, coincidentally, was my victory dance coach...
Roland: Pop the hips, pop the hips J.D.
J.D.: OK, there it is. Thanks Roland, one day I'll get it.
Roland: I doubt it.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Back to your room Mr. Johnson, you've got one ventricle!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: Oh, don't worry. He's not allowed to talk!
Lindsay: Is that true?
Elliot: You may nod.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Look the point is, think of the millions of times you chose to not to hang out with your wife, 'cause you were trying to hang out with me. You know, maybe it's time you started acting like a real husband, instead of acting like some sort of crazy... cowboy.
Turk: A cowboy?
J.D.: I don't know, it just came to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Look here, I was thinking maybe, maybe you'd rather just stay in tonight. You know have some pizza watch, watch some movies, what do you say?... Are you trying to smile?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 21: "My Lips Are Sealed"

Dr. Cox: Do you have any idea what events would unfold if Jordan actually were to see that picture? It's a heart-wrenching tale of woe involving Jordan's second cousin who plays for the New England Patriots and me having the Superbowl ring removed from my oesophagus.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything. (Holds up a photo) Here I have you wearing a ducks bill. Get it? Because you're a quack! Get it? Classic comedy my friend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: Jack's fine, but the doctor said if the cut was four inches to the left and seven inches deeper, it could have potentially scratched his eye.
Dr. Cox: That was a close one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Hey, all my pictures were in there! Dead patient with fancy shirt, dead patient without fancy shirt, me in fancy shirt being yelled at by angry family!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: That was a thick bush.
J.D.: Oh really Turk? Was that a thick bush? Because there's berries in my ass!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: I'd focus, because that tiny patch of skin on my son's forehead is more important to me than the entirety of your whole high-fiving, head-shaving, air-balling, mole-lipping, insulin-needing existence, which I guarantee you will come to an abrupt very unnatural end.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: That is the most ridiculous hat I've ever seen.
J.D.'s narration: And I must have it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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