Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.: I wish I knew how it was going. Sorry about your hogs, fellas. Enjoy the free espressos... Warlord, I told you to sip it. Use your words.
Warlord: Warlord... burn mouth.
J.D.: Yeah he did, because he wasn't listening. Napkin on your lap, Satan's Valet. Thank you.
Turk: Dude, she's got this whole trust issue with me.
J.D.: Just tell her she can trust you.
Turk: I did. But apparently if I'm the one she didn't know she could trust, how's she supposed to trust she can trust me telling her she can trust me?
J.D.: My head hurts.
Turk: Yeah, mine did too.
Elliot: Oh, get this. He doesn't even have erectile dysfunction. I mean, why would you take those drugs if you didn't need them?
Dr. Cox: What's this? Why, it's a dummy-gram. And it's addressed to you, Barbie. Let's read it and find out what's in there. "You are disturbingly naive. Stop. Almost fifty percent of ED drugs are taken by recreational users. Stop."
Elliot: That can't be true.
Dr. Cox: Everyone. Would you go ahead and close your eyes for a second? Great. Now, would all the men in the room who've tried Mr. Happy pills go ahead and grab your fork and bang your glass.
(The cafeteria is filled with the sound of banging)
Dr. Cox: Thank you!
(The banging stops, except for one lone man)
Elliot: Ted! Everyone stopped.
Ted: Oh. Dammit!
Turk: That's why I need you to go in.
J.D.: No way, dude. It's never smart to get in the middle of someone else's relationship.
Turk: I'll let you wear my top hat.
Janitor: Well, I hope you realize this means war.
Dr. Cox: Ah, buzz off, you big monkey.
Intern: That guy needs to do some serious thinking about baseball.
Todd: He wouldn't even let me see it.
Elliot: Hey meathead! Oh good, you both looked. Now, Mr. Gerst came here for help, and we're doctors, so how about we try and treat him with at least a little bit of dignity and respect, okay?
Dr. Kelso: That man is a human sundial!
Carla: J.D., I know what you're trying to do and it's very sweet, but the last couple of days have been so messed up and confusing, I'd love to just try and forget about it and have a few drinks, okay?
J.D.: But I told Turk I'd talk about him constantly until you made me leave.
Dr. Cox: Jack just- He just fell off of the jungle gym.
Jordan: You're not careful enough with him!
Dr. Cox: What about the time you had him and he brained himself on the coffee table?
Jordan: That was an accident.
Girl: Giant Man, why are you making that noise?
Janitor: Oh. Well, cause my camera doesn't make a real sound, and it's more fun that way. See, here you go. Look happy. Look sad. Look crazy. Look like you're going away.
Dad: Look at my girl. Right back up on the monkey bars, even after she chipped her tooth there last week.
Dr. Cox: That's nothing. My kid's got a forehead full of stitches from leaping off the jungle gym.
Jordan: Hi.
Dr. Cox: Hello there.
Jordan: What's with all the band-aids?
Dr. Cox: Oh, Jack was just getting nutty, having some fun. See, I even let him put one on me.
Jordan: Really? (She leans down and takes one of the band-aids off, revealing the stitches) Are those stitches?!
Dr. Cox: What are the odds you'd pick that one?
J.D.: It was just a friend kiss!
Carla: Were your lips parted at all?
J.D.: No, I pursed them like this.
Carla: I don't know, J.D. I remember my one lip being on top of your upper lip and my other lip being somewhere in the middle of yours, which means your lips were apart and I don't think that's a friend kiss.
