Denise: I don't know why I keep jumping into bed with him. My confidence is shot from screwing up that spinal last week and then yesterday I misdiagnosed a ectopic pregnancy. I dunno maybe I wanted to do I knew I could do right. Like banging a dude. I'm a giant ho bag.
Elliot: No, no you're not. So is Derek a good guy?
Denise: Derek? I thought it was Eric

Carla: You are not a doctor here anymore. You will not treat yourself anymore. I'm sticking the interns on you
Kelso: Oh come on... hi!
Sunny and Howie: Hi
Kelso: What happened to your sleeve there Tex?
Howie: I sewed an orange on to it
Kelso: I'll take the foreigner
Sunny: Yay! I'm so happy!

J.D.: What do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other? I'll go first. Look at you. There's no way around it, you're a beautiful man
Sean: Thank you, J.D.
J.D.: Now you go
Sean: I never agreed to that
J.D.: Beautiful son of a bitch

Kim: J.D. is better at sex, Sean is better at foreplay
Elliot: J.D. is great at foreplay. He just takes the play part literally, so you got to embrace all of his games. "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsies Daises"...
Kim: "Who's in there?" ... Followed afterward by "What's in there?"
Elliot: "Mr Peep Tries on Hats" ...
Kim: Love that one!

Kim: So we've been dating, what about a month...and I just didn't want to say anything until i Knew it was going to go somewhere.
Sean: We hit a little speed bumb when I first found Sam was your baby
Kim: Yeah he got drunk and asked me to sell him on the black market
Sean: She wouldn't
Elliot: Well that's sweet

Ted: This salad taste like sun screen
Janitor: That's because you put sun screen on it
Ted [tastes face]: Ahh! I put ranch on my face!

J.D.: Look Elliot, I dunno if its possible for me to put how I feel about you into words but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find someone I loved as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk
Elliot: Oh my god
J.D.: It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true

I am not a strong public speaker, nor am I good with the Bible, so we'll see how this goes

Van

Jordan: Remember when my dog died, you told me he went to doggie hell? And then you told me my mom was going to go to doggy hell when she dies?
Cox: Because of her doggy face?
Jordan: Right!

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