Favorite Seinfeld Quotes
(to Jerry) Well I got a flash for ya' joy-boy.
Mr. Bookman
George: If I am not in front of my building at 6:15 when my parents get there, they are going to put me on an aggravation installment plan that will compound with interest for decades.
(to George) You get within fifteen feet of that woman, she'd have her finger on the mace button.
Jerry
I'm trying to live my life!
George
Unbelievable. I'm never gonna get outta here. Guy goes to pee, he never comes back. It's like a science-fiction story.
George
We're like rats in some experiment.
George
(Kramer is carrying an air conditioner box)
Jerry: Will you let me help you with that?
Kramer: I'm gonna put it down behind that car.
Jerry: Worried somebody's gonna pee on it?
The problem with the mall garage is that everything looks the same. They try to differeriate between levels. They put up different colors, different numbers, different letters. What they need to do is name the levels, like, "Your mother's a whore." You would remember that.
Jerry
There's too much urinary freedom in this society.
Jerry
George: Fish. What do they do?Elaine: What do you do?
Kramer: Purple 23, remember that.George: Yeah, that I'm supposed to remember. Where the car is, that's insignificant.
Jerry: Why do I always have the feeling everyone's doing something better than me on Saturday afternoon?Elaine: This is what people do.Jerry: No they don't. They're out on picnics, cooking burgers, making out on blankets. Not in some mall in Jersey helping their friends find the world's cheapest air conditioner.