Seinfeld Quotes
Joe: Are you still afraid of clowns?
Kramer: Uh-huh...
George: Do you know the last time I wore this thing? Six years ago, when I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding.
Jerry: Oh, that was a bad toast.
George: It wasn't that bad.
Jerry: I never heard anybody curse in a toast.
George: I was trying to loosen 'em up a little bit.
Jerry: There were old people there, all the relatives. You were like a Redd Foxx record. I mean, at the end of the toast nobody even drank. They were just standing there, they were just frozen! That might have been one of the worst all time toasts.
George: Alright, still her father didn't have to throw me out like that, he could have just asked me to leave. The guy had me in a headlock!
The hardest part about being a clown, it seems to me, would be that you're constantly referred to as a clown. "Who was that clown?", "I'm not working with that clown, did you hire that clown?", "The guy's a clown!". How do you even start into being a clown, how do you know that you want to be a clown, I guess you get to a point where your pants look so bad, it's actually easier to become a clown than having the proper alterations done. Because if you think about it, a clown, if there isn't a circus around them, is really just a very annoying person. You're in the back seat of this guy's Volkswagen, "What, you're picking somebody else up? Oh man!"
Jerry
(Loud thump is heard from the door)
Jerry: Who is it?
Kramer: It's me!
Kramer: Why are you locking the door now?
(to a police officer) But officer, he threatened me. I don't understand, that's not right. What if it was the President of the United States, I bet you'd investigate. Well, so what? What's the difference? I'm a comedian of the United States. And I'll tell you, I'm under just as much pressure.
Jerry
I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it.
Jerry
(disdainful of public golf courses) It's crowded, the grass has big brown patches in it, they don't rake the sand traps. Not to mention the caliber of people you have to play with!
Kramer
I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot You're toiling in virtual anonymity.
George
I'm gonna need some water here!
George
(apologizing for Jerry) It's very hard being a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they don't laugh!
Elaine
Maybe I'll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they're alllaid out for me.
Elaine
Time is what he's indicating here.
George
