Seinfeld Quotes
I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
George
(George just found out that Susan was fired)
George: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I'm out, baby! I'm out!
Jerry: Why did he fire her?
George: Because I kissed her in the meeting. Russell found out, he fired her over the phone. Finally, my stupidity pays off!
Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
A crazy clown is after you? Oh, that's rich!
Ticket Taker
Joe: Are you still afraid of clowns?
Kramer: Uh-huh...
Elaine: Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself
Joe: Who am I?
Elaine: Good question..very existential. Who am I?..well obviously (looking at wall of photos of her)
George: We'll take it.
Kramer: No.
George: No, are you crazy?
Kramer: Let me handle this.
George: That's $500 that's a great deal.
Kramer: Man, you're blowing it, the guy's a pigeon.
George: This is not a Metallica concert, it's an opera. A little dignity, a little class.
I like this opera crowd; I feel tough.
Jerry
The hardest part about being a clown, it seems to me, would be that you're constantly referred to as a clown. "Who was that clown?", "I'm not working with that clown, did you hire that clown?", "The guy's a clown!". How do you even start into being a clown, how do you know that you want to be a clown, I guess you get to a point where your pants look so bad, it's actually easier to become a clown than having the proper alterations done. Because if you think about it, a clown, if there isn't a circus around them, is really just a very annoying person. You're in the back seat of this guy's Volkswagen, "What, you're picking somebody else up? Oh man!"
Jerry
(Loud thump is heard from the door)
Jerry: Who is it?
Kramer: It's me!
Kramer: Why are you locking the door now?
Elaine: You left your door open.
Joe Davola: I know, I like to encourage intruders.
Oh, dammit, you know I just remembered I gotta go. I left something on, the gas, the lights, the water in the tub. Something is on somewhere so Im just gonna get the uh
Elaine