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George: Woody mentioned me? What did he say?
Kramer: He said, "Who's the moron in the blue jacket who's got the street all screwed up?"

Who put cookies in his mouth?

Paramedic

Kramer: I might have a whole new career on my hands, huh?
Jerry: You mean a career.

Elaine: Seven dates is a face-to-face break up?
Jerry: If it was six I could have let you go, but seven, I'm afraid, is over the limit. Unless, of course, there was no sex.
Elaine: Hmm... how's the pasta over there?

Rental Agent: Alright. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?
Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

Elaine: (on Owen) You'd really like him.
Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?

Jerry: Owen March? I never heard of him.
Elaine: Well, he's not a baseball player.

Jerry: That's my car!
Car thief: I didn't know it was yours.
Jerry: What are you gonna do with it?
Car thief: I dunno, drive around.
Jerry: Then can I have it back?
Car thief: Hmmm, nah. I'm gonna keep it.

Elaine: Guess who I bumped into. Owen.George: He's alright?Elaine: Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. He told me he was just using me for sex.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Jerry / Elaine / Kramer / George

Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?Car Rental Assistant: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here, that's why you have the reservation.Car Rental Assistant: I think I know why we have reservations.Jerry: I don't think you do. You see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.

Jerry: Now listen, let's keep an eye on each other tonight. In case one of us gets in a bad conversation, we should have a signal that you're in trouble so the other one can get us out of it.
Elaine: How old are you?

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 329 in total

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

I can't get a massage from a man.

George

Jerry, he's a guy.

Elaine