Jerry: Hey, do me a favour will ya? Throw out my garbage for me.
George: Yeah, right.
Jerry: Come on, it's just down the hall.
George: Give me two bucks. I'll do it for two bucks.
Jerry: I'll give you 50 cents.
George: There's no way I touch that bag for less than two dollars.

Jerry: Let me ask you a question. If you named a kid Rasputin do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?
Elaine: Nah.

I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture is very non-confrontational.

Jerry

Kramer: Well, it's these people-- they go swimmin' in the winter. They're terrific; I just took my first swim today. Brrrrrrr! It's invigorating.
Jerry: Yeah So's shock therapy.

I have no power. Why should she have the upper hand? Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand.

George

Intervener #1: He's here! What do we do?Intervener #2: Hide!Jerry: It's not a surprise party!

I've got so much hand I'm coming out of my glove.

George

Jerry: Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.
Elaine: Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.
Jerry: Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed.

George: (working on a crossword) What's a three letter word for candy?Jerry: I could never do those things.

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