Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 15)

Season 3 Episode 4: "The Dog"

Elaine: Jerry, do you know what they do to dogs at the pound? They keep them for a week and then if no one claims them, they kill 'em.
Jerry: Really? How late are they open?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 3: "The Pen"

Elaine: Stella!
 • Rating: Unrated

Helen: Why'd you take his pen for?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Hey! It writes upside-down!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stella: This better be good; I'm missing Golden Girls for this!Helen: I hate her like poison.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Helen: Don't sleep in there. You can you use the bedroom.Elaine: I can't take your bedroom.Helen: I'm up at 6 o'clock in the morning.Elaine: I can't kick you out of your bed.Helen: We don't even sleep.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I liked it. Should I have said I didn't like it?Helen: You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect him to do?Jerry: He could have said: "Thank you, I like it too" and put it back in his pocket.
 • Rating: Unrated

Helen: You're going underwater?Jerry: Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving is done.Helen: What do you have to go underwater for? What's down there that's so special?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: What happened to you?Jerry: I got in a fist fight with one of the ladies at the pool.Helen: It's from scuba diving.Jack: What's there to see underwater?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: Do you think I take everything everybody offers me? You offered me sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?Morty: You said you didn't want it!Jack: Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake!Morty: Then who the hell said you couldn't have any? I mean what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?Jack: Because I saw the look on your face last week when I took the scotch tape!Morty: Ahh! So you got the scotch tape! I've been looking all over for it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I'm sleeping on a loveseat. I got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to Elaine) It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to his parents) What is going on in this community? Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: Come on, take the pen!
Jerry: I can't take it.
Jack: Do me a personal favor!
Jerry: No, I'm not
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: I cannot take it!
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: Are you sure?
Jack: Positive! Take the pen!
Jerry: Okay. Thank you very much.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 2: "The Truth"

Jerry: Have you ever been audited? It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Completely naked?Kramer: Completely naked.Elaine: Jerrry, How can I go on?Kramer: Alright. I'll tell you what. If it's going to make you feel any better, you can see me naked.Elaine: No thank you!Kramer: No, I want you to see me naked.Elaine: No, no, no!Kramer: No, I want to show you.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: My whole life has been a complete waste of time.Jerry: And there's so much more to go.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: What did you think, that would impress me?Jerry: You got it all wrong! I was thinking only of the poor Krakatoans!Elaine: Like you give this donation for 50 bucks and I'd start tearing my clothes off?Jerry: Those brave Krakatoans... East of Java! Who sacrificed so much for so long!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I don't even pay taxes.Jerry: Well that's easy when you have no income.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: The truth? You want the truth? It is your earrings! It is the chopsticks, but it's so much more! You're pretentious! You call everyone by their full name! You call my doorman, Sammy, "Samuel" but you didn't even say "Samuel", you went "Samuelle!" Papie-ay mach-ay? What is papie-ay mach-ay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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