Popular South Park Quotes

Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!

Randy: Yeah, the players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tin-foil hats, because you know, it's the future, and we shouldn't be so barbaric!
Principal Victoria: How will the bras and tin-foil hats make it safer?
Randy: Oh, you're all not getting it, see, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball, and whoever catches the ballon will tries to run while all the other players hug!

Oh, they'd love it! A sport where safety is all that matters? How about we call it sarcastaball?!

Randy

Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!

Yeah, let's do that! We've got an economy in the toilet, a big election coming up, but this country's #1 priority should be making football safer!

Randy

Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.

Cartman

As commissioner of the NFL, I am so thrilled to see our nation's youth embrace sarcastaball over traditional football. But oh, why stop there? Since football is *so barabaric*, we should change too! So let's give a big welcome to the new coach of the Denver Broncos, Randy Marsh!

Roger Goodell

Fan 1: Nice job, Cee-Lo! Good to see you on TV some more!
Fan 2: Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit song!

Announcer: Oh, the referee is calling that a touchdown! Oh wait, now another official is signaling that's a safety!
Fan: Oh, nice job, replacement refs!
Announcer: They're gonna have to sort this one out with the side judge.
Side Judge: **** it, it's a ****ing field goal!

Coach Belichick says that 'there's no way we can beat the Broncos, they've had the same coach for almost a day!'

Reporter

This is exactly what Adele is talking about! Our culture celebrates aneorexia, and makes us ashamed that we don't have slim stomachs, and perky little tits like Kyle!

Cartman

I may be fat, but I'm not Honey Boo Boo!

Cartman

South Park Quotes

(Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!

Janet Reno

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

South Park

South Park Photos

  1. Quotes
  2. By Show
  3. South Park Quotes
  4. Popular
  5. Page 119