South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralPopular South Park Quotes
Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.
Old Man: Didn't kill him, did ya? Nah, I didn't think ya had it in ya.
Randy: We scared him, we thought it'd be enough!
Old Man: Milk man don't get scared, not with free pussy at every doorstep.
I hate this damn town, everyday things just keep getting weirder around here and I'm just about sick of it!
UPS Guy
Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.
I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!
Cartman
Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!
Kyle
You're all fake, and stuck up, and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with a sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have heads up your butts!
Butters
Why don't you shut up, Dad, and stick it in your ear for crying out loud!
Butters
But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me being like an emo chick on her period?
Butters
Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.
The Mahalo Rewards card is being eliminated. They're trying to say our points are no longer going to be accepted.
Hawaiian Native
Tourist Husband: They just pushed on to airplanes and said we weren't welcome any more!
Tourist Wife: Then a little boy called me a skank!
