South Park

South Park "Chickenlover" Quotes (Page 2)

Mr. Garrison: Yes officer, what is it?
Officer Barbrady: I need to go poopy.
Mr. Garrison: Officer Barbrady, we go to the bathroom before and after class.
Officer Barbrady: Aw Christ! How do you kids do it?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: HA! (whacks the Bookmobile driver)
Bookmobile driver: Ow, that hurt!
Stan: Whoa dude! Cartman!
Officer Barbrady: No, that is not how you uphold the law!
Cartman: But he is not listening to my authoritah!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, you're doing it all wrong my little friend. You do it like this. (whacks the bookmobile driver in the head) You gotta get them in the head; they go down quicker.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Voice Box: May I help you?
Officer Barbrady: I'll have two cheeseburgers and some jalapeno poppers.
Voice Box: There's just one problem: we're a bank.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(on being told the "fast-food restaraunt" is actually a bank)
Officer Barbrady: Well I know that! What do you think I am? Stupid?
Teller: Yep.
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Teedle... the.. timid.. taxidermist... loved to go to the.... Oh goddamn, reading is lame!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bookmobile Driver: How did you know I would strike here?
Officer Barbrady: By reading Teetle the Timid Taxidermist.
Bookmobile Driver: You did?! Really?! Then it worked! My whole plan worked absolutely perfectly!
Stan: What are you talking about, dude?
Bookmobile Driver: When I heard that Officer Barbrady couldn't read, I knew I had to motivate him somehow. So I formulated a plan to encourage him to learn the magic of reading!
Kyle: So you f**ked a bunch of chickens?
 • Rating: Unrated

Father Maxi: Who would have sex with a chicken?
Halfy: I would.
Mr. Garrison: Aw you couldn't screw anything Halfy, you don't have any legs.
Father Maxi: Have some respect for people's feelings, would you Halfy?
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Now move along, or I'll be forced to execute every one of you by gunshot to the head.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Reporter: Has chicken f(bleep)er left any clues at the crime
Officer Barbrady: All right, I admit it! I can't read! Are you happy now? You pushed and you pushed, and now you know my deep dark secret; I'm illegitimate!
 • Rating: Unrated

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