South Park Season 2 Episode 3: "Chickenlover" Quotes
Move along people, there's nothing to see here.Officer Barbrady
- Permalink: Move along people, there's nothing to see here.
Cartman: Sir, could you step out of the car, please?
Mr. McCormick: We're fine, officer.
Cartman: Anduuh who's, who's in here with you?
Mr. McCormick: Just me and my wife and my brother. And my wife's cousin and his son and my brother's girlfriend and our two kids-
Kenny: (muffled) Hi, Cartman.
Mr. McCormick: -and my brother's girlfriend's mother, and this guy Bob who I met last year.
Cartman: (to the camera) Poor people tend to live in clusters.
Mr. McCormick: What? What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing- now, sir, is there some kind of uh-
Mrs. McCormick: I want him out of my house! He ain't worth a s(beep)t! He can't even hold a f(beep)kin' job!
Mr. McCormick: Shut up, bitch!
Cartman: Okay okay, let's try to watch the language: there's children present heuh.
Mrs. McCormick: He is a lazy-ass motherf(beep)ker!
Mr. McCormick: Look what she did to my f(beep)kin' eye.
Mrs. McCormick: I'll do it again!!
(Mrs. McCormick kicks him in the ass and continues hitting him. Kenny just laughs at the sight)
Kevin: Eh-Mom hit Dad again!
(Kenny and Kevin then continue laughing at them)
Cartman: Now, the first thing to do in domestic disturbance calls like this one is to just calm everybody down. Respect my authoritah!
(Cartman jumps up and knocks Mrs. McCormick down, then Mr. McCormick. He then concentrates on Mr. McCormick)
Kenny: (muffled) God-dammit, Cartman!
Mr. McCormick: Aagh!
- Permalink: Sir, could you step out of the car, please? We're fine, office...
(Gun fires at Kenny)
Stan: Oh my God, they've killed-!
Kenny: Mrph, mrph umph umly umh maphet (Oh, it was only my jacket.)
Stan: God dammit!
- Permalink: Oh my God, they've killed-! Mrph, mrph umph umly umh maphet ...
Ey! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!Cartman
- Permalink: Ey! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!
Randy: Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?
Cartman: (slower) Sir, step out of the car, please.
Randy: (steps out) Yeah. You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.
- Permalink: Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend? Sir, step out...
Mayor McDaniels: Well, how's the reading coming along?
Officer Barbrady: (wringing his hands) Oooh, pretty good.
Mayor McDaniels: Barbrady, we really need you to speed this up. The Chickenf(beep)ker struck again last night.
Kyle: Oh no!
Officer Barbrady: Ah mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the Chickenlover.
- Permalink: Well, how's the reading coming along? Oooh, pretty good. Ba...
Voice Box: May I help you?
Officer Barbrady: I'll have two cheeseburgers and some jalapeno poppers.
Voice Box: There's just one problem: we're a bank.
- Permalink: May I help you? I'll have two cheeseburgers and some jalapeno ...
Cartman: HA! (whacks the Bookmobile driver)
Bookmobile driver: Ow, that hurt!
Stan: Whoa dude! Cartman!
Officer Barbrady: No, that is not how you uphold the law!
Cartman: But he is not listening to my authoritah!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, you're doing it all wrong my little friend. You do it like this. (whacks the bookmobile driver in the head) You gotta get them in the head; they go down quicker.
- Permalink: HA! Ow, that hurt! Whoa dude! Cartman! No, that is not ho...
Mr. Garrison: Yes officer, what is it?
Officer Barbrady: I need to go poopy.
Mr. Garrison: Officer Barbrady, we go to the bathroom before and after class.
Officer Barbrady: Aw Christ! How do you kids do it?
- Permalink: Yes officer, what is it? I need to go poopy. Officer Barbrad...
Reporter: Has chicken f(bleep)er left any clues at the crime
Officer Barbrady: All right, I admit it! I can't read! Are you happy now? You pushed and you pushed, and now you know my deep dark secret; I'm illegitimate!
- Permalink: Has chicken fer left any clues at the crime All right, I admit...
Keep your eyes peeled boys, someone's going to make love to this chicken any second now.Officer Barbrady
- Permalink: Keep your eyes peeled boys, someone's going to make love to this...
Darn it! What heck is wrong with you Barbrady? All you say is "Move along people nothing to see here" and "Case closed."Man
- Permalink: Darn it! What heck is wrong with you Barbrady? All you say is Mo...