South Park

South Park "Chickenlover" Quotes

Mayor McDaniels: Well, how's the reading coming along?
Officer Barbrady: (wringing his hands) Oooh, pretty good.
Mayor McDaniels: Barbrady, we really need you to speed this up. The Chickenf(beep)ker struck again last night.
Kyle: Oh no!
Officer Barbrady: Ah mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the Chickenlover.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?
Cartman: (slower) Sir, step out of the car, please.
Randy: (steps out) Yeah. You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Ey! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Gun fires at Kenny)
Stan: Oh my God, they've killed-!
Kenny: Mrph, mrph umph umly umh maphet (Oh, it was only my jacket.)
Stan: God dammit!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Sir, could you step out of the car, please?
Mr. McCormick: We're fine, officer.
Cartman: Anduuh who's, who's in here with you?
Mr. McCormick: Just me and my wife and my brother. And my wife's cousin and his son and my brother's girlfriend and our two kids-
Kenny: (muffled) Hi, Cartman.
Mr. McCormick: -and my brother's girlfriend's mother, and this guy Bob who I met last year.
Cartman: (to the camera) Poor people tend to live in clusters.
Mr. McCormick: What? What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing- now, sir, is there some kind of uh-
Mrs. McCormick: I want him out of my house! He ain't worth a s(beep)t! He can't even hold a f(beep)kin' job!
Mr. McCormick: Shut up, bitch!
Cartman: Okay okay, let's try to watch the language: there's children present heuh.
Mrs. McCormick: He is a lazy-ass motherf(beep)ker!
Mr. McCormick: Look what she did to my f(beep)kin' eye.
Mrs. McCormick: I'll do it again!!
(Mrs. McCormick kicks him in the ass and continues hitting him. Kenny just laughs at the sight)
Kevin: Eh-Mom hit Dad again!
(Kenny and Kevin then continue laughing at them)
Cartman: Now, the first thing to do in domestic disturbance calls like this one is to just calm everybody down. Respect my authoritah!
(Cartman jumps up and knocks Mrs. McCormick down, then Mr. McCormick. He then concentrates on Mr. McCormick)
Kenny: (muffled) God-dammit, Cartman!
Mr. McCormick: Aagh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Move along people, there's nothing to see here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Do you know what the speed limit is hee-yah?
 • Rating: Unrated

Man: Darn it! What heck is wrong with you Barbrady? All you say is "Move along people nothing to see here" and "Case closed."
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Keep your eyes peeled boys, someone's going to make love to this chicken any second now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of s**t, I am never reading again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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