South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park

Sharon: What are you doing sweetheart?
Stan: Getting a cookie. We're gonna build a clubhouse and then were......
(Sharon interrupts)
Sharon: You men are all alike. First you get a cookie, then you criticize the way I dress, and then the way I cook. I suppose next you'll tell me you need your space and that I'm sabotaging your creativity. Go ahead Stanly get your god damn cookie.

Mr. Mackey: Young man, school is a time for learning, not for your immature skylarkings.
Stan: Skylarkings?
Mr. Mackey: You know, tomfooleries.
Stan: Who?

(Cartman is sitting on Kenny)
Cartman: Cartman Von Cartman has ways of making you talk! (Farts)
Kenny: Aaah!

Stan: If you wanna play Americans versus Bosnians, then you can just play with yourself.
Cartman: Fine, I'll play with myself! I'll play with myself all day along!

Don't lie Stan. Lying makes you sterile.

Mr. Garrison

Killer-weak-sweet.

Cartman

Stan: Do you mind if I watch cartoons? I've had a rough day.
Roy: (mumbles)
Stan: What?
Roy: Chores, do chores.
Stan: My dad lets me watch cartoons.
Roy: Well I'm not your dad, okay? I'M NOT YOUR DAD! Y.. you can't just go around playing games with my emotions! (Roy walks off crying)

Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey, what's goin down ya'll?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, what you doin on this side of the hood?
Fat Abbot: Ya know somethin' Rudy? You're like school in summertime.
Rudy: School in summertime?
Fat Abbot: Yeah bitch, school in summertime, open ya *beep* ears *beep* whore, I'll pop you're bitch ass.
Dumb Donald Clone: I'ma pop-a you're-a bitch-a ass-a to-ba.......bitcha!

Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.
Fat Abbot: I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch, shut you're bitch ass mouth hoe.
Rudy: Bitch! I'll kick yo ass.
Kyle: WHOA DUDE!
Stan: SWEET!
Fat Abbot: You think you slick you punk ass blasphemous dope-fiend bitch, I had my Jimmy waxed seven times last week, I'll bust a cap in you're *beep* ass *beep* head!
Kyle: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.

Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?

Wendy: Truth or dare?
Stan: (like Chef) Dare.
Bebe: I dare you to shove this twig up your pee-hole.
Stan: SICK!

Fat Abbot: Hey, Sally, why's your eye all black and blue and s***?
Sally: My stepfather hit me in the face
Fat Abbot: Stepfather?! You need to snatch his ass up in a beartrap so no one will find him for days!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 17 in total

South Park Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

Mr. Mackey: Young man, school is a time for learning, not for your immature skylarkings.
Stan: Skylarkings?
Mr. Mackey: You know, tomfooleries.
Stan: Who?

Sharon: What are you doing sweetheart?
Stan: Getting a cookie. We're gonna build a clubhouse and then were......
(Sharon interrupts)
Sharon: You men are all alike. First you get a cookie, then you criticize the way I dress, and then the way I cook. I suppose next you'll tell me you need your space and that I'm sabotaging your creativity. Go ahead Stanly get your god damn cookie.

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