South Park

South Park "Cripple Fight" Quotes

Cartman: (on P.A. system) Attention, shoppers. Outside, we have cripple fight. Cripple fight outside!
(people run out of the store to see it)
 • Rating: Unrated

Man: Well how gay is he?
Stuart: He's really, really gay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (to Big Gay Al) Get your big gay ass off the couch and come be our scoutmaster again!
 • Rating: Unrated

Reporter: (on TV) In other news, the FBI has finally caught the child molester known as Mr. Slippyfist. This sick child molester was found with disturbing graphic photos of young boys naked, which we will show you now. Here's one. And here's another.
Stuart: (notices picture) Kenny?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Was your dad in Scouts, Cartman? Oh yeah, you don't have a dad. (everyone laughs but Cartman)
Cartman: That's not funny! Jesus Christ!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jimmy: You know, sometimes people ask me, "Are you angry at God for making disabled people?" I say, "No, I think the world is better with P-President Bush."
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimmy: You dirty motha-*bleep*!!!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Yeah, we're gonna use him to help raise money in our bake sale.
Stan: Cartman, don't say "use him," you big silly goose.
Randy: (to Stan) What did you say?!
Stan: I just called Cartman a name. He's a, he's a silly goose.
Randy: YOU DO NOT SAY "BIG SILLY GOOSE!" You call him an asshole like a normal kid!
Stan: But Dad, I was just trying to --
Randy: STANLEY, YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT!
Stan: (to Cartman) Asshole.
Randy: That's better!
Cartman: (quietly) Don't call me an asshole, you son of a bitch.
 • Rating: Unrated

(the boys protest)
Stan: What do we want?
Boys: Gays in Scouts!
Stan: When do we want it?
Timmy: Timmy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Head Scoutmaster: Oh, Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay.
Big Gay Al: Well, stop the presses, did you figure that out all by yourselves, silly buns?
 • Rating: Unrated

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