Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

Over the past few months, I have watched you go from an ancillary character with a few amusing catch phrased to a dried out spooge rag covered in the jizz of a thousand older men.


You're not the Towelie you used to be. Where you used to be fluffy and absorbent, now you are crusty and unable to absorb the smallest amount of waster.


Cashier: Wow, you must have one dusty computer.
Towelie: Fuck you, it's not illegal, bitch.

Towelie had a girlfriend he really liked. Then she got pregnant and had a little wash cloth.


Who hired that towel? It can barely walk, let alone dry someone off.

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