Mr. Mackey: Hi boys!
Stan and Kyle: (imitating Mackey) Hello, Mr. Mackey.
Mr. Mackey: Have you boys been sure to pass gas so that you don't spontaneously combust?
Kyle: We know how to fart, Mr. Mackey.
Mr. Mackey: Well let me show you. (pats his butt) Oooh, baby, come on.
(Mr. Mackey farts and boys cover their noses and mouths)
Kyle: Jesus Christ!
Stan: Sick, dude!
Mr. Mackey: I had a steak wrapped with bacon last night. (giggles)
Kyle: Dude, I think you pulled mud.
Mr. Mackey: So you know you need to do that regularly, mmmkay.
Stan: Okay, okay, just go away. (Mackey goes away) Dude, that was not cool at all.

• Permalink: Hi boys! Hello, Mr. Mackey. Have you boys been sure to pass...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Now for the weather. It's f(beep)king hot thanks to Randy Marsh, son of a bitch.

Anchorman

• Permalink: Now for the weather. It's fking hot thanks to Randy Marsh, son o...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Randy: Stan, go live with Kyle's family.
Stan: No dad, Kyle's dad sucks. He can't even get a nerection.
Randy: (chuckles) Really?

• Permalink: Stan, go live with Kyle's family. No dad, Kyle's dad sucks. He...
• Added: February 20, 2010

(The same situation as in Randy's dream, Randy is tossed in the air by a happy crowd)
Crowd: Randy! Randy! Randy!
Man: We love you Randy!
Woman: Make love to me Randy!

• Permalink: Randy! Randy! Randy! We love you Randy! Make love to me Rand...
• Added: February 20, 2010

(upon seeing Cartman on the cross) T is for turtle.

Officer Barbrady

• Permalink: T is for turtle.
• Added: February 20, 2010

Father Maxi: Blessed be the name of Jesus.
Congregation: (in unison) It's a great name, isn't it?

• Permalink: Blessed be the name of Jesus. It's a great name, isn't it?
• Added: February 20, 2010

Lord, is it so much to ask that you not let us burst into flames for no apparent reason? I mean, come on. Amen.

Father Maxi

• Permalink: Lord, is it so much to ask that you not let us burst into flames...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm Jesus and you're not.

Cartman

• Permalink: Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm Jesus and you're no...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Father Maxi: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish.
Father Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?

• Permalink: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately. Well, I'm Jewish. ...
• Added: February 20, 2010

Father Maxi: (During Kenny's funeral) Lord, though we have lost Neil Smith to free agency and Steve Atwater to the Jets, still we hope our beloved Broncos can bring home another super bowl championship and once again bathe in the glory of your light. Amen.
Father Maxi: Let us pray.
(Father Maxi and church begin cheering in the form of a hymn.)
Father Maxi: Let's gooooooo.
Congregation: Let's goooooo.
Father Maxi: Broncoooooos.
Congregation: Broncoooooos.
Father Maxi: Let's go Broncos
Congregation: LET'S GO!

• Permalink: Lord, though we have lost Neil Smith to free agency and Steve At...
• Added: February 20, 2010