South Park Season 5 Episode 8: "Towelie" Quotes
Stan: Come on, Towelie. The guy said you have the entry code in your memory bank!
Towelie: Hey, it's been a long time...
Cartman: You just have no long-term memory, because you get high all the time!
Towelie: Don't preach to me, fatso!
Cartman: I can preach to you all I want, because you're stupid!
Towelie: YOU'RE stupid!
Cartman: Yeah, well, you're a towel!
Towelie: YOU'RE a towel!
- Permalink: Come on, Towelie. The guy said you have the entry code in your m...
Stan: Ok guys focus; it looks like this is going to be an underwater level.
Towelie: (high; slurred) Don't forget to bring a towel.
(the boys laugh)
Cartman: You're the worst character ever, Towelie.
Towelie: I know.
- Permalink: Ok guys focus; it looks like this is going to be an underwater l...
Oh man, why is everyone riding me today? Goddamnit.
- Permalink: Oh man, why is everyone riding me today? Goddamnit.
Sharon: Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
Stan: No no, it's okay, Mom. We, we can't go to baseball practice 'cause Kyle has cancer.
- Permalink: Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now. No no, it's okay,...
Tynacorp Leader: You see kids, the Army hasn't been telling the truth.
Kyle: Dude, we don't care.
Tynacorp Leader: They wanted to turn these towels into human killers.
Kyle: DUDE, WE DON'T CARE! We just want our Okama Gamesphere.
- Permalink: You see kids, the Army hasn't been telling the truth. Dude, we...
(to Mrs. Marsh) You shouldn't have done that. He's just a boy!Cartman
- Permalink: You shouldn't have done that. He's just a boy!
Towelie: Wanna get high?
Stan: No! We don't wanna get high!
- Permalink: Wanna get high? No! We don't wanna get high!
That's my last J asshole!
- Permalink: That's my last J asshole!
That's it! That's the theme to Funky Town.
- Permalink: That's it! That's the theme to Funky Town.
Towelie: Don't forget to bring a towel.
Towelie: When you get out of the water you need to dry off right away to avoid catching a cold. That's why Towelie says, don't forget to bring a towel!
Kyle: Thanks Towelie.
Towelie: You wanna get high?
- Permalink: Don't forget to bring a towel. What? When you get out of the...
Do you wanna get high?
- Permalink: Do you wanna get high?
Oh my god! Our Gamesphere!Kyle
- Permalink: Oh my god! Our Gamesphere!
Stan: Do you have our Okama Gamesphere?
Military Leader: You did very well bring the towel back here, boys. Let me ask you something... What was it that those people at Tynacorp told you? That the "big, bad Military" wanted to turn Towelie into a weapon of mass destruction? Now let me tell you the REAL story...
Stan: Oh, God! Don't care, don't care!
Military Leader: Yes, we've been making our own smart-towels, but only because we HAD to. You see, when we started spying on Tynacorp, we discovered a certain terrifying secret...
(The boys just stand there and stare.)
Military Soldier: Go on! Ask him what terrifying secret!
Kyle: What terrifying secret?
Military Leader: That Tynacorp was using these towels to take over the world!
Cartman: (to Kyle) We're never gonna play our Okama Gamesphere again, are we?
Military Leader: Don't you see what towels like these are capable of?? You get out of the shower and dry yourself off... But then, the towel makes you drier and keeps on making you more dry... Can you imagine it? What it would be like to be way, way too dry? I'll tell you something: you don't want to know, and I don't know.
Kyle: And we don't care.
Military Leader: You've been double-crossed by Tynacorp, kids. They set this all up just so they can get you here and take us down.
Stan: So let me get this straight... Our Okama Gamesphere is back at Tynacorp?
Military Leader: Oh, yes. It has been all along...
- Permalink: Do you have our Okama Gamesphere? You did very well bring the ...
Then perhaps we should show these kids who Tynacorp is REALLY made up of! Go on, tell them why you've been making towels, ZYTAR!</i> Pseudo-military leader
(unmasks leader to reveal his alien head)
- Permalink: Then perhaps we should show these kids who Tynacorp is REALLY ma...