Patrick: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.

She does the detecting and I do the insulting.

Jane

But I'm not po po - I am a po po consultant.

Jane

I have no questions. You're an evil, sexually perverted sociopath with pathetic delusions of grandeur. The rest is just details.

Jane

Lisbon: What can you get for $127.68?
Cho: You could go crazy at Olive Garden.

When you tell me boring things, I set them free immediately. It saves on overcrowding.

Jane

Jane: Are we sleeping together?
Lisbon: Excuse me?

Lisbon: You killed her husband.
Jane: Well there you go. The ice is broken. We have something to talk about.

The idea of letting anyone close to me is terrifying for obvious reasons but the truth Teresa is that I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you. The truth is I love you.

Jane

Jane: You keep a hammer in your desk?
Lisbon: You only think you know everything about me.

Bad news. You're under arrest you loony bitch.

Jane

Lisbon: Look, we have a serious problem.
Jane: Yeah, I was really looking forward to a muffin.

The Mentalist Quotes

Turns out being understood is an underrated pleasure.

Jane

Van Pelt: Does Jane seem off to you?
Cho: Always.