The Office

The Office Season 5 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 5 Episode 21: "Two Weeks"

Michael: I'm starting my own paper company.
Andy: No way!?
Michael: Yeah.
Andy: In this climate?
Michael: Yeah. In all climates. It's going to be worldwide. And I'm looking for some talented salesmen to join me. That's where you come in.
Andy: Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm... Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?
Dwight: Your own paper company.
Michael: Can you believe it? Well, we'll see, we'll see. It's just a, just a nugget of an idea right now so
Dwight: Right...
Michael: Potential, lots of potential. yes.
Dwight: What a courageous venture.
Michael: It's... it's very courageous, very exciting. Um...
Dwight: Location is hard for me, with the farm and the responsibilities...
Michael: That's what I was thinking, with the farm, so... You getting to wherever I'm gonna put my thing.
Dwight: Okay. So yeah.
Michael: So think about it. Lets put a pin in it for now.
Dwight: You know, I would love to put a pin in that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: So that is why I have to leave at 5:00 on Tuesday, it's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians.
Charles: You know, you can run this stuff by Toby.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Before you got here, I'm the one who landed all these clients. Half of them, at least. I can do it again. I know the market, I know the price points. I'm on it, don't worry. So, how do I do that?
Pam: Well, um, you can scan it, and then you can upload the image, and then you can copy the new image.
Michael: Can't I take some paper and just tape over it with transparent tape?
Pam: Yeah. Good.
Michael: Thank you very much.
Pam: Mmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Pam, listen. This order form. Instead of saying "Dunder Mifflin" at the top is there any way I could get it to say something else?
Pam: Like Michael Scott Paper Company?
Michael: You... oh. Somebody has been talking in bed. Pillow talk.
Pam: Hmm... yeah. Listen Michael. Have you really thought this through? 'Cause it's a pretty big risk.
Michael: This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Dwight: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Charles: Jim.
Jim: Hey.
Charles: What are you doing?
Jim: Nothing, just talking.
Charles: Okay, Michael handed in his 2-week notice, did you also hand in your 2-week?
Jim: I didn't... no.
Charles: Okay. After you.
Michael: No I'm staying.
Charles: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Alright, Michael Scott Paper Company. You want in? Do you want to be a part of this?
Jim: I am not gonna do this.
Michael: Obviously.
Jim: And you are not going to, either.
Michael: Oh, agreed, mmm, except...
Jim: Here's the thing. What I wish for you is that you land a job at a company that A, exists, and B, has a salary. Because they're set up to do that kind of thing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay, oh okay, okay. Close your eyes.
Jim: I would prefer not to.
Michael: Just close your eyes. I'm going to start my own paper company.
Jim: You're starting your own paper company?
Michael: yeah!
Jim: Why?
Michael: Can you believe... cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Jim: Do you know the industry is in decline?
Michael: Yeah! Oh God. I practically invented decline.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You work in paper long enough, you get to know the players. [dials phone]
Phone: Hi, you've reached Prince Paper. We are sad to inform you that after 40 years of serving the community we are no longer in business. Thank you for your support. May God bless you. Bye!
 • Rating: Unrated

Creed: [feeding coins into a vent] I think it's 75 cents.
Oscar: That's a lot.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Pam: During the course of business, a copier goes though something called 'Normal wear and tear.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Pam?
Pam: Hmm?
Kevin: When will the new copier be ready?
Pam: I'm working on it Kev.
Kevin: You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Pam: It'll be ready soon.
Kevin: Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.
Pam: Is that what 'soon' means to you?
Kevin: Sometimes.
Pam: Then come back soon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Where you from?
Isaac: Philly.
Michael: That's a drive!
Isaac: Yeah, well this is one of the few places that's hiring. It's uh, its brutal out there.
Michael: [sighs]
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: For regional manager I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Oh! Hey. What is this about?
Andy: Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...
Michael: Oh.
Andy: I hope I get to work with you someday again.
Michael: Me too, me too. Is this wine?
Andy: Ah... busted. Yes.
Michael: I already have wine.
Andy: Oh.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Michael: I have a job.
Andy: For four more days.
Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: [tipsy] What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I gonna stay up all day. Gonna sleep it up all night. I'm gonna give it a OHH! HEY! HO! And I'm going to stop worrying about calories.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Kevin: Michael is that scotch?
Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jim: About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I will have one of own someday. [laughs] But I dream... so...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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