Michael: Very nice!
Darryl: Not bad, huh?
Michael: A real hoop dream story you got there.

She should go home. It's not the end of the world. We'll go on a date next week. She's still gonna like me in a week. Right...?

Andy

Oscar: I have a question.
Michael: [whispering to Jo] Oscar, homosexual accountant.

Angela: Hey! Are you sick?
Erin: Oh, no, I just have a little indigestion.
Angela: In your nose.
Erin: Yes.

When you work for Sabre only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, orrrrr you practice bestiality. If Jo likes you, you are in. And I .... am in.

Michael

I'm a little sick but I don't want to miss my date with Andy. I'll get better. Whenever I get sick it goes away within a few hours. Except once when I was in the hospital, from age three to six.

Erin

Dwight: I'll tell you what happened to me. I didn't see my father for the first two years of my life. I thought my mother was my father, and my wet nurse was my mother.
Jim: Well that's a common mistake.
Dwight: Turned out fine for me. But Mose. Same story... Different. Ending.

Dwight: Ah, that baby is just discovering the whole wide world right now.
Jim: It's pretty amazing.
Dwight: What up is, what down is, who mom is. Who dad is. It must be tough being here with all that going on.
Jim: Oh it's tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Dwight: I mean, you're here at work, the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.
Jim: Is that what happened to you?

Erin and I have our first date tonight. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to How I Met Your Mother, that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about and you'd better have a good story to tell them.

Andy

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass have been away on maternity leave. But now Tweedle Dumbass is back and we have a problem. Yes, getting hooked on Megadesk was my own damn fault. But [sighs] I don't care about assigning blame. All I care about, is Megadesk. That is all I care about. Getting. More. Megadesk.

Dwight

Meredith: Stop fighting! Just on St. Patrick's Day okay? Just one, perfect day a year. No hassles. No problems. No kids.
Ryan: Why no kids?
Kelly: Yeah where are your kids?
Meredith: Nope. Uh uh. Not today!

Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life no family. I want to have been married by the time I would've turned thirty. That's just... that's just depressing.

Michael

The Office Season 6 Quotes

Jim: You gotta figure this out.
Andy: How?
Jim: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Oh, yeah!
Jim: Then a man. Then compare.

Andy: [on gay rumors] For the record I prefer women, but off the record, I'm kinda confused.
Jim: Really.
Andy: The evidences are stacked against me.