Dwight: Man! White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight: Well you can kind of tell from their voice.
Kelly: Yeah.
Dwight: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot because of your race.
Kelly: Well they say it's because of texting but, maybe you're right.

Michael: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Jim: Alright!
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.

Dwight: How has being a minority affected you.
Kelly: Well there's a lot of pressure from my parents, to settle down and marry an Indian guy.
Dwight: Oh good, and you resent this because?
Kelly: Indian guys always wear their cellphones outside their pants. It's so dorky.
Dwight: No no no. That's not dorky. Look, it's easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911? Hello, Scranton strangler's in the house. Inside the house!
Kelly: Just put it in your pocket.

Michael: This is a place that I like to go to be alone with my thoughts. I've never taken anybody there before.
Donna: Who took the photo?
Michael: Ryan.

Michael is having a hard time with the gender part of Spanish. So, I told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender and, um... [holds up sticky notes with male and female... genitalia drawn on them] I should have been more specific.

Oscar

Michael: [to camera] La telephona.
Oscar: El telephono.

Pam: I was wrong too. I thought she was interested in you.
Michael: She suckered you too ... was it the cleavage.
Pam: Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts.

Dwight: How would one of you feel, if I told you I could put you on a fast track to an executive position at this company.
Erin: Holy cow. I'd be so happy.
Dwight: I wasn't talking to you, Pale Face.
Erin: I know, I mean I'd be happy for them!
Dwight: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train, straight to middle management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know this program. "Every color is important because together we make a rainbow."
Dwight: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.

I got my whole life to be a minority executive. Only have about a year left in these knees, though.

Darryl
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