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I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority, that within 20 years everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.Dwight
- Permalink: I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish....
They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first, the program's mostly black it's ... almost too black. That didn't sound right.Gabe
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Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.Dwight
- Permalink: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this...
Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.
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You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uhhh, I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and I thought she was into me. But, now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know. She's touching around down there it's easy to get confused.Andy
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What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped and given up after two rejections. Would've been a less shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment. I still would have seen it. But, that's not... the point.Michael
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Oscar: I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-
Michael: Okay, well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar: Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain ... money?
Michael: Why don't you run them again.
Jim: What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael: If she is it's working.
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I took the liberty to scan a few things earlier and I want to show you. There we go! Look at those vivid colors. Look at my eyes! Those are Shrek green eyes. That is me again! I think this displays the crisp, dazzling white. And that would be a display of the crisp. Gorgeous. Black.Michael
- Permalink: I took the liberty to scan a few things earlier and I want to sh...
Kelly: I never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight: I know, because you have no role models! How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs. Any race.
Dwight: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian... Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight: That's not... [sighs] she's... OK. Yes.
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Dwight: Man! White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight: Well you can kind of tell from their voice.
Dwight: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot because of your race.
Kelly: Well they say it's because of texting but, maybe you're right.
- Permalink: Man! White people, right? I don't know if she was white. Wel...
Michael: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They will be assisting you today.
Donna: You look exactly alike!
Pam: Oh, no! We're actually married, we're not brother and sister.
Donna: I have a sense about these things.
Donna: You have some ancestors in common... somewhere back!
Angela: I knew it! You should see their baby.
- Permalink: Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. They ...
Dwight: How has being a minority affected you.
Kelly: Well there's a lot of pressure from my parents, to settle down and marry an Indian guy.
Dwight: Oh good, and you resent this because?
Kelly: Indian guys always wear their cellphones outside their pants. It's so dorky.
Dwight: No no no. That's not dorky. Look, it's easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911? Hello, Scranton strangler's in the house. Inside the house!
Kelly: Just put it in your pocket.
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