Burns: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers!
Smithers: Somebody down here likes you too, sir!
Burns: Shut up!

• Permalink: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers! Somebody down here likes...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a...car of some sort, heading in the direction of...you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Chief Wiggum

• Permalink: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a....
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...

• Permalink: I specifically said, no geeks! But my mom says I'm cool...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing! Damn opposed!
Bart: He's damn opposed! Damn damn damn opposed!

• Permalink: Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing! Damn opposed! He's damn ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Now ladies and gentlemen, if you look just over left-field wall, the real show is about to begin, the sunrise! Brought to you by God. The invisible giant you turn to when you're about to die.

Announcer

• Permalink: Now ladies and gentlemen, if you look just over left-field wall,...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
Bart: Just what I was going to say.

• Permalink: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking th...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lenny: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
Carl: I never should have given you that Egyptology book.

• Permalink: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a m...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: So how was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees, or build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? (chair falls apart on him) D'oh! Stupid poetic justice
Bart: Actually, we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip
Homer: (chuckles) You don't have a son.

• Permalink: So how was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Moe: They're headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not!
Moe: Well then, let's go to the old mill anyway to get some cider!

• Permalink: They're headed for the old mill! No we're not! Well then, le...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...

• Permalink: You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon. Smithe...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.

Homer

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• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dean: Hello..
Homer: Hello, Dean! You're a stupid head!
Dean: Homer is that you?

• Permalink: Hello.. Hello, Dean! You're a stupid head! Homer is that you...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0