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The-simpsons

Milhouse: I checked around... the girls are calling you Fatty Fat Fat Fat and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants. But, nobody's trying to kill ya.
Bart: Aaah... that's good.
Nelson: pulls down pants
Group Of Girls: Fatty fat fat fat, fatty fatty fat fat!

Homer: Hey kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?
Bart: Yeah!
Lisa: Yeah!
Sideshow Bob: (from under the car) No!
Homer: Well, two against one.

Hey, that's some outfit. It makes you look like a homosexual. (Audience boos) Maybe you all are homosexuals too!

McBain

Anya: (in a girls voice) "Dear Lisa, as write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown...(man's voice) and replaced by the benevolent General Krull! All hail Krull, and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, little girl."
Lisa: (groans)

Agent: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? When I say,"Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: (stares blankly)
Agent: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: (stares blankly)
(A long time later)
Agent: (sighs in frustration) Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! (stomps on Homer's foot a few times)
Homer: (stares blankly) (to other agent) I think he's talking to YOU.

Man: Now don't you fret. When I'm through, he won't set foot in this town again. I can be very, VERY persuasive. (reloads his gun)
(Scene change to a bar)
Man: (whining) C'mon, leave town!
Bob: No.
Man: I'll be your friend?
Bob: No.
Man: Aw, you're mean!

Chief Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: (indignantly) I'm pretty sure there is.
Chief Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle --
Lou: Hey, she's right, Chief. (shows him "Springfield Law".)
Chief Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's ALSO illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
(Shot of Eddie the cop with squirrels running around in his pants, and a bunch of cops watching and laughing) Boys, knock it off!

Bart/Lisa: Aah! Sideshow Bob!
Bart: You wrote me those letters!
Marge: You awful man! Stay away from my son.
Bob: Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right. (evilly) Stay away...forever!
Homer: (quaking) No!
Bob: Wait a minute, that's no good. (Starts to walk away, then runs back) Wait! I've got a good one now. Marge, say, "Stay away from my son," again.
Marge: (angrily) No!
Bob: (groaning) Oh...

Lisa: Bart, I figured it out! Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to for years?
Bart: Linda Lavin?
Lisa: No, someone who didn't deserve it.

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