I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no ...
Chief Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: (indignantly) I'm pretty sure there is.
Chief Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle --
Lou: Hey, she's right, Chief. (shows him "Springfield Law".)
Chief Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's ALSO illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
(Shot of Eddie the cop with squirrels running around in his pants, and a bunch of cops watching and laughing) Boys, knock it off!
- The Simpsons
- The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 2: "Cape Feare"
- Marge Simpson, Chief Wiggum, Ralph Wiggum, Lou
- Related Quotes:
- The Simpsons Quotes, The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes, Marge Simpson Quotes, Chief Wiggum Quotes, Ralph Wiggum Quotes, Lou Quotes
- Added by:
- Eric Hochberger