The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 20: "The Boy Who Knew Too Much" Quotes
Bart: (trying to buy a ticket at the Aztec Movie Theater) Look, if I was really under 17 I'd be in school, right?
Ticket seller: Yeah, I guess you are right. Enjoy Boob-a-rama, sir.
Bart: See Lisa, they don't need my help proving Freddy innocent.
Lisa: That's because Mayor Quimby is buying his nephew's freedom.
Bart: The system works.
Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury room. But I stood by the courage of my convictions and I prevailed. And that's why we had Chinese food for lunch.Homer
Principal Skinner: You're stealing a table?
Homer: I'm not stealing it. Hotels expect you to take a few things. It's a souvenir!
Principal Skinner: Ah. Is that my necktie you're wearing?
I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.Homer
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Principal Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Principal Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Principal Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--
Patty: That's not going to happen.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: --where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO ooh! Free Willy!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge Snyder: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.
Principal Skinner: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder. If I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.
Homer: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, boy. (singing) Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
Oh my God! Someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.Chief Wiggum
(about Principal Skinner) Oh my God, he is like some sort of ... non ... giving up ... school guy!Bart
Why, there are no children here at the 4H club, either! Am I so out of touch? No, it's the children who are wrong.Principal Skinner
Helen Lovejoy: Heh, this won't take long. He's clearly guilty. We'll probably be home by dinner time.
Jasper: Good. I hear the dog from Frasier is going to ride the dolphin on SeaQuest.