The Simpsons

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Marge: Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
Otto: You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
Marge: No.
Otto: A book from a vampire's point of view?
Marge: No.
Otto: Anything where guys send in naked pictures of chicks?
Marge: Otto, I think you should get a job.

(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
Homer: Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
(Otto stops.)
Homer's Head: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better.

Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

Homer

Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
Otto: Wow! What's the catch?

Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
Marge: What conversation?
Bart: (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
Homer: Marge! What were you thinking?
Marge: That's not my voice!
Homer: Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.

Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.

Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.

Kent Brockman

Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!

Bart: Rough day, Apu? Help me a squishee and don't spare the syrup.
Apu: Oh, perhaps you would like to try an experimental flavor of my own concoction. A delicious Chutney Squishee.
Bart: Oh... okayslurp
Apu: You can really taste the chutney!

Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard?

Otto: All right, yeah, so how did I do?
Patty: Well you failed every segment, and misspelled bus on your application.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 24 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 22 Quotes

(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
Homer: Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
(Otto stops.)
Homer's Head: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better.

Marge: Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
Otto: You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
Marge: No.
Otto: A book from a vampire's point of view?
Marge: No.
Otto: Anything where guys send in naked pictures of chicks?
Marge: Otto, I think you should get a job.