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(Homer puts stake in Mr.Burns)
Homer: Take that!
(Homer hits stake with hammer multiple times)
Lisa: Uh Dad, that's his crotch.
Homer: Oh, Sorry.
(Homer puts stake where the heart and hits it)
Mr. Burns: AAAAAAGH!
(Mr. Burns disentergrates)
Homer: Whoo-hoo!
(Mr. Burns Comes Back Alive)
Mr. Burns: You're Fired!
(Mr. Burns Dies Again)
Homer: D'oh!

Devil Flanders: Now remember, the instant you finish it, I own your soul for--
(Homer has already scarfed the donut)
Homer: Hey, wait. If I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my soul, do you?
Devil Flanders: Well, technically no, but--
Homer: I'm smarter than the Devil. I'm smarter than the Dev--
(Flanders turns into a huge demon)
Devil Flanders: You are not smarter than me. I'll see you in Hell yet, Homer Simpson.

(Devil Flanders curses Homer by turning his head into a donut.)
Marge: Homer, don't pick at it!
Homer: But, Marge, I'm so sweet and tasty! Well, I guess I'll go to work.
Lisa: Uh, Dad, I wouldn't go out there if I were you.
Chief Wiggum: (Outside house, sipping coffee) Don't worry, boys. He's got to come out of there sometime.

Homer: Oh, I'd sell my soul for a donut.
(Flanders appears as the devil.)
Devil Flanders: Did I hear someone wanted to sell their soul?
Homer: Flanders?! You're the devil?!
Devil Flanders: It's always the one you least expect isn't it?

Marge: Lisa, it's not nice to call people vampires. Did everyone wash their necks like Mr. Burns asked?
Bart & Lisa: Yes.
Homer: (Holding out a pitch black towel) Sure did!

Bart: Otto! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus!
(Otto looks out his side window and sees Hans Moleman driving.)
Otto: Don't worry, Bart dude. I'll get rid of him.
(Otto slams into the car.)
Hans Moleman: Oh, I just made my last payment.
(Moleman's car almost crashes into a tree, but then explodes.)

Bart: I just had a vision of my own horrible fiery death.
Lisa: And?

Grampa: Quick! We have to kill the boy!
Marge: How did you know he's a vampire?
Grampa: He's a vampire? Ahhh!

(Homer squeezes bull horn in Bart's ear)
Bart: Ahhhhhh!
Homer: Hey Marge, I found all this stuff at the dock. It was just sitting in some guy's boat.

Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis Hey, wait a minute! You are a vampire!

Homer

Homer, today Bart's a vampire. Tomorrow he could be smoking!

Marge

It was so nice of Mr. Burns to invite us to his country home in...Pennsylvania!

Homer
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 35 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Lionel Hutz: First, some ground rules: Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Devil Flanders: Agreed! Number two, the jury will be chosen by me!
Lionel Hutz: Agreed. No, wait--
Devil Flanders: Silence! I give you the Jury of the Damned! Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon--
Nixon: But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook.
Devil Flanders: Hey, listen; I did a favor for you!
Nixon: Yes, master.
Devil Flanders: John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, the starting line-up of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
Simpsons: Ahh!

Lisa: Grampa's a vampire?
Bart: We're all vampires.
Lisa: But no. We killed Mr. Burns.
Homer: You have to kill the head vampire.
Lisa: You're the head vampire?
Marge: No, I'm the head vampire. (Lets out an evil laugh)
Lisa: Mom?
Marge: Well I do have a life outside this house, you know.

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