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Marge: I think there is something a little off about him.
Homer: Yeah, his hairdo is so queer.
Vampire Burns: I heard that!
Homer: It was the boy!

This cape is giving me a rash.

Vampire Grampa

My mule wouldn't walk in the mud. So I had to put seventeen bullets in him.

Groundskeeper Willie

I was watching Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I got the gist of it.

Lionel Hutz

This chair be high, says I.


Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.


Principal Skinner: Pull, Willie, pull!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'm doin' all the pulling, you blouse-wearing poodle-walker!

Homer: Ahh! Super Fun Happy Slide!
Lisa: No Dad!
Homer: OhhI guess killing will be fun enough.

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