The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 4: "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish" Quotes
That Burns is just what this state needs! Young blood!Grampa
- Permalink: That Burns is just what this state needs! Young blood!
(about Blinky) Oh, Marge, what's the big deal? I bet before the papers blew this out of proportion, you didn't even know how many eyes a fish had.Homer
- Permalink: <i>(about Blinky)</i> Oh, Marge, what's the big deal? I bet befo...
(Homer leaves for work)
Lisa: Don't spill anything!
Bart: Keep those mutants coming, Homer!
Homer: I'll mutant you.
- Permalink: <i>(Homer leaves for work)</i> Don't spill anything! Keep th...
(picking up a plain cake doughnut) Aww, plain cake doughnuts. (louder) Thanks for taking all the fancies guys! (to self) Why can't I ever get here on time?</i> Homer
- Permalink: <i>(Homer arrives at work and realizes that all the icing-covere...
(Homer comments on the newspaper headline about Mr. Burns running for Governor.)
Homer: Well, he's got my vote.
Marge: Homer, we're a Mary Bailey family.
Homer: Mary Bailey isn't going to fire me if I don't vote for her. I'm for Monty Burns!
Lisa: Ooh, a political discussion at our table! I feel like a Kennedy.
- Permalink: <i>(Homer comments on the newspaper headline about Mr. Burns run...
(In bed, Homer worries about what Mr. Burns said about making sure his dreams will go unfulfilled.)
Homer: Oh, my dreams will go unfulfilled? Oh, no. I don't like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better, please. Can't you make it better, huh?
Marge: Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping till noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
Homer: Hey, you did it!
- Permalink: <i>(In bed, Homer worries about what Mr. Burns said about making...
(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns starts smashing things in the Simpson home)
Mr. Burns: Smithers, tip over this table for me!
Smithers: Yes, sir.
(Smithers grunts as he turns over the table.)
Marge: Homer. Homer. Make them stop.
Homer: (Clears throat) Uh, Mr. Burns. Um, Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns: Shut up and wreck something!
(Homer picks up a flower vase and drops it.)
Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish.
Mr. Burns: She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.
- Permalink: <i>(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns ...
(A government inspection team arrives and inspects the nuclear power plant.)
Government Inspector: Okay, men. Geiger counters on.
(The inspection team turns on their Geiger counters, and they immediately start buzzing.)
Inspection Team: (In unison) Huh?
Mr. Burns: Ah, I suppose that's normal background radiation, the kind you'd find in any well-maintained nuclear facility or, for that matter, playgrounds and hospitals.
(The Government Inspector makes a checkmark on his clipboard.)
Government Inspector: Sorry.
(Cut to the cooling towers.)
Government Inspector: (Whistles in amazement.) Gum used to seal crack in cooling tower.
Mr. Burns: Do'h. I'm as shocked as you are.
(Cut to an office inside the power plant.)
Government Inspector: Plutonium rod used as paperweight.
Mr. Burns: Doh, now, that shouldn't be.
(Cut to a work area inside the power plant, where a drop of nuclear waste falls from a leaking pipe and eats through an inspector's clipboard.)
Mr. Burns: Yeah, well, that's always been like that.
- Permalink: <i>(A government inspection team arrives and inspects the nuclea...
(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling for an investigation at the nuclear power plant.)
Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
Homer: (Scoffs) Mary Bailey. Well, If I was governor, I'd sure find better things to do with my time.
Marge: Like what?
Homer: Like getting Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday back to separate paid holidays. President's Day. (Blows raspberry.) What a rip-off. I bust my butt day in and day out--
Marge: You're late for work, Homer.
Homer: So? Somebody'll punch in for me.
- Permalink: <i>(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling f...