The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Sorry Marge, but I am the royal babysitter. If I start watching commoners, the tongues of the court will be a wag.
Homer
Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving people lifts.
Taxi Driver
They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.
Mr. Burns
The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.
Moe
Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.
Homer
You guys cost me my chance with a woman of a certain age!
Moe
Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!
Bart: Aw jeez, I thought writing another hit song would be easier.
Lisa: Well it would have helped if you hadn't crumpled up all the paper before we wrote anything on it.
Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight. Now the first thing I have to do is make amends with the bathroom scale.
Homer
I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?
Homer
Bart: Thinking back, I'm kinda surprised mom and dad let a crazy man spend all night in my bedroom.
Homer: Simpler times.
I didn't write it. I bought it from a salesman who was selling it to half the towns in America. I didn't think you'd find out because I never thought any of us would go anywhere.
Moleman
