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The-simpsons

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer

Why won't someone blame the children?

Helen

Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.

Moe

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.

Homer

The most romantic part of this was the hold music when I made the reservation.

Marge

Waiter: I hope you are enjoying your sushi.
Marge: It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial says.

Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.

Who could have shoved eggs up our brass?

Martin
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 3399 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

MARGE! Where are you? Did you change your name? Is it Kelly? KELLY!

Homer

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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