It's in Hell, the Inferno, Perdition, Arizona without the golf

Homer

It's like they don't care if you make money, as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?

Marge

Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and...what are you doing with that gun?!

Grandpa

Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer

Bart: What's your soda refill policy?
Marge: All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.
Homer: Careful Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.

Mom, it's trash talk. You know how guys say mean things to their friends the way women say nice things to their enemies?

Lisa

She's under a lot of stress, her husband's at sea.

Lisa

Homie, the fantasy draft just ended. I got you five kickers. It is called football, right?

Marge

"Quagmire who? That's an excellent question."

Homer

"My dad gave me a gun to hide."

Meg

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

"You bring home two bands of hippie murderers…"

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.