The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.
Moe
You went to Hell and came back a winner like Jesus
Homer
It's in Hell, the Inferno, Perdition, Arizona without the golf
Homer
It's like they don't care if you make money, as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?
Marge
Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and...what are you doing with that gun?!
Grandpa
Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.
Homer
Bart: What's your soda refill policy?
Marge: All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.
Homer: Careful Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.
Mom, it's trash talk. You know how guys say mean things to their friends the way women say nice things to their enemies?
Lisa
She's under a lot of stress, her husband's at sea.
Lisa
Homie, the fantasy draft just ended. I got you five kickers. It is called football, right?
Marge
"Quagmire who? That's an excellent question."
Homer
"My dad gave me a gun to hide."
Meg
