Lenny: Why do they call this a yard of ale?
Carl: Easy, after you drink it, you're passed out in a yard.

Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?

Homer

A minute of fun a lifetime of work. I've never heard of a pregnancy like this.

Bart

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

You used up all your clones you fat, fat, fat reckless, fat pig.

Frink

Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.

Milhouse

He's just Ralph with a dream, the dream of not ralphing.

Lisa

Homer: Whoo hoo! I've got a date with my daughter!
Cletus: Yeah, we've all been there. No need to act like you just invented air conditioning.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Milhouse

Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?

Patty

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.