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The-simpsons

He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.

Marge

Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.

Homer

Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse.

Homer

Sorry, Carl, it's WWII all over again. America kicks Iceland's ass.

Homer

And I'm 69 because people always laugh when you say "69." Hehe, no one knows why.

Homer

Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Gamed in the womb.

Moe

Patty: So, now you're going to get hit on by every loser in town.
Selma: And this town has losers like Mexico has headless corpses.

Hey those Yelp reviews don't write themselves. Did you know a well-placed one-star could destroy a "Mom and Pop" hardware in nothing flat?

Homer

Just call me Borders Books cause I'll always be here.

Homer

Accidental motherhood is the best thing that can happen to a woman.

Marge
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 3391 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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