Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, your new teacher is...everybody pray!
Principal Skinner: This is a public school
Superintendent Chalmers: I said pray!

Wow its working! I guess the instructions were in English

Fry

Attention goblins, Madison Cube Garden is filled with Butterfinger bars and people are laying fingers all over them

Lisa

Bender: My ass is about to project something
Homer: You don't have to announce it, just do it quietly and blame the dog

Lisa: You know, they look a little similar
Bart: Yeah, like the guy who designed Bender just took a drawing of dad and stuck an antenna on it
Lisa: A little lazy if you ask me

Don't drink my loved ones

Homer

Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart

You always do the right thing...sort of.

Marge

Wait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.

Homer

I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

Mr. Burns

I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

Mr. Burns

It's true, it would be a cold day in Hell when I was popular.

Lisa

The Simpsons Quotes

Sir, I got carsick in your office.

Ralph

Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"