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The-simpsons

Eduardo: Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
Homer: I wish.

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Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I'm going to call you kettle corn.

Ned

Willie: You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
Lisa: No, this is good.
Willie: Well, this knave's got to carve something.

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

Homer

Don't pester the rich. I don't hand out candy, you son of a grinch.

Burns

Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.

Homer

When I look at people I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.

Wiggum

He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.

Marge

Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.

Homer
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 3399 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

MARGE! Where are you? Did you change your name? Is it Kelly? KELLY!

Homer

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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