I was killed--by my own son!

</i> Marge

"For entertainment purposes only, credit card information may be sold to Korean gangsters . . ."


(About the album) It was like a resume to a man.


(sadly) Oh Captain Janeway! Your mission ended too soon!


Homer: Aw, our kids use to be so cute.
Bart: Used to?
Homer: Oh, deal with it!

(Marge reads The Inquisitor at the Quik-E-Mart)
Marge: Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle? And it's getting bitter?
Apu: Read one more thing, and it's a purchase!
Marge: "Experts disagree on location of Heaven"?
Apu: Purchase!

What's with technology today? I-Pod, I-Tunes, I give up!

Krusty Doll

Krusty Doll: Where do kids today get these band names? The Kinks? The Stones? Sounds like my last physical!
Bart: Ha ha, references.

I don't need to make a wish, because I already have this wonderful family . . . I wish for infinity hamburgers.

</i> Homer

First Amendment rules, privacy drools!


Waitress: Stem cell fajita?
Rainer: Leave the tray.

(slowly) How do you want your comeuppance? 8x10, or wallet size!?


The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.

I think the hook is touching my brain.