The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 18 Episode 11: "Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times"

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!
 • Rating: Unrated

Texan: Look at all them stars How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Moe: I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.
 • Rating: Unrated

Judge: I sentence you to life.
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive.
Judge: In prison!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lenny: (to Homer) Now get some sleep, you have a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: 9 AM!?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dolph: (to Martin) You are so dead that you're alive.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Milhouse: Having a weapon at school has really made things awesome.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nelson: (to Milhouse) Ha ha, you forgot me because I had the mumps!
 • Rating: Unrated

Apu: Thank you, masked vigilante. Your over-zealous homicide has saved me 80 cents. Now if you're not going to buy anything, please move along.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 18 Episode 10: "The Wife Aquatic"

Marge: This is so exciting! Watching a movie outside with the whole town.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, thank you for talking to one of us like we just tuned in! (his lawn chair collapses) Ooh, a fat man falls! Real original!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kearney: This movie isn't silent! I can hear it sucking!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: We left plenty of food so you won't starve!
Grampa: Thank you!
Homer: I was talking to the cat!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Uck! This is the most disgusting place we've ever gone!
Bart: What about Brazil?
Lisa: After Brazil.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Homer: Nice brush work, Emily. Nathaniel, you could learn a lot from her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Ooh, an institute!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned Flanders: Tonight's G-rated jam is a silent film from my favorite yearYester.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Patty and Selma prepare to show their home movies.)
Moe: Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "The Simpsons" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!