Homer: Permission to moan?
Judge Harm: I'll allow it.
(Homer makes a loud and long moan.)

I thought bankruptcy was the cool law. The one that says, "Dude, don't worry about it, I got this."

Homer

Accountant: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair?
Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?

(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Selma: Wanna split a basket of garlic bread?
Grampa: Slow down you hussie!

Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)

Bart

Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!

Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.

(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!

Homer

Homer: Okay everyone ahead is my big surprise!
(Bart, Lisa, and Marge fall down the stairs.)
Homer: Watch out for the stairs.

Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?

Homer

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

My arm! It hurts where the tiger's biting it!

Bart

Go love making!

Marge & Homer