The Simpsons

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The simpsons

Homer: Permission to moan?
Judge Harm: I'll allow it.
(Homer makes a loud and long moan.)

I thought bankruptcy was the cool law. The one that says, "Dude, don't worry about it, I got this."

Homer

Accountant: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair?
Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?

(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Selma: Wanna split a basket of garlic bread?
Grampa: Slow down you hussie!

Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)

Bart

Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!

Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.

(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!

Homer

Homer: Okay everyone ahead is my big surprise!
(Bart, Lisa, and Marge fall down the stairs.)
Homer: Watch out for the stairs.

Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?

Homer
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 374 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

(to Marge about her Internet surfing success) I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.

Lisa

(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.

Homer
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