He was a good man. (He rips of Skinners leg and eats it) A good, moist man.

</i> Apu

Ned Flanders: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't.

Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!

Homer: I don't need a soccer lecture from a hillbilly!
Cletus: That's hill-william to you, sir!

Another family broken up by Ronaldo, yes!


Lisa: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore. And judging by how tight they are, I'm never gonna be anyone else's either.

My son is an evil knight. (Pauses) The most successful evil knight in all of Earthland Realm. Not bad.

</i> Marge

Could someone bring me another barf cone?

</i> Homer

Helen Lovejoy: (to Homer) You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you.
Reverend Lovejoy: Helen please, don't drop the J-bomb.

(After Bart brought Marge's character back to life)
Marge: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life force to save me. What a good boy.
(An angry mob busts in)
Moe: He's weak!
Comic Book Guy: Slay him and take his experience points!
Bart: Wait, stop. If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life!
Mrs. Krabapel: It's still worth it!
(She stabs Bart in the eye)

What have you done with the real Moe?
(They all laugh, and we see in the real Moe bound and gagged in the back room)

</i> Homer

I thought it went really well, until I swallowed the whistle.


The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.


(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.