Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

(to Helen) You put on the Michael Bolton CD, I'll put on my edible vestments!

Reverend Lovejoy

Now ladies and gentlemen, if you look just over left-field wall, the real show is about to begin, the sunrise! Brought to you by God. The invisible giant you turn to when you're about to die.


Lisa: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you feel better.
Bart: Is it my rabbit, Cottontail? The one who went to live upstate?
Lisa: He died, Bart. Dad buried him in the backyard. But not in that order.

Ghost Homer: You want to have ghost sex?
Ghost Marge: I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing! It's worse than nothing!
Ghost Homer: Then why were you moaning last time?
Ghost Marge: Because I'm a GHOST! Whooooo!
Ghost Homer: Aahhh! A ghost!

Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? The kid who dropped that easy fly ball? You stink like a Dutchman's throwup!


Simpson drops the ball. And he kicks it. And kicks it again. It's horrible, but you can't take your eyes away. It's like watching a monkey swallow a hand grenade.


Marge: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard?
Homer: It's like our honeymoon all over again! Aw, we even have the same bum looking at us.
Bum: I knew you kids would make it! (poking Homer's stomach) Man, you got fat.

The Lovejoys? If this is about me drinking that holy water, lemme tell you, I had had, like, a million Doritos. You know the ones with the flame on the bag? Oho, that bag ain't lyin'.


Another family broken up by Ronaldo, yes!

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