The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes (Page 13)

Season 18 Episode 10: "The Wife Aquatic"

Emily: Mr. Simpson, we'd do anything to help a stranger who claimed a vacation here 30 years ago.
Nathaniel: And to make a little meth money on the side.
 • Rating: Unrated

Old Man: I say let him fish it off. These waters are so barren, by the time he pays off the debt; he'll be as old and as queer as I am.
Homer: Queer-strange or queer-gay?
Old Man: A touch of both. (Laughs crazily, then makes kisses in the air to Homer)
 • Rating: Unrated

Fisherman: We brought them in by the boatload day and night. Then one day, they were gone.
Lisa: Maybe you just over fished them.
Fisherman: Maybe they under-spawn.
Lisa: Maybe you killed them all!
Fisherman: Maybe the fish killed themselves!
Lisa: Maybe you should be ashamed of yourself!
Fisherman: Maybe you should marry Milhouse!
(Lisa gasps)
Fisherman: Yeah that's right! I know about Milhouse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

The crew: (as a huge wave is about to crash over the boat) Shiiipwreck!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Repent! Repent! Before it's too late! (giggles) I always wanted to do that in a New England church.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sideshow Mel: I demand entertainment!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dolph: What the hell is a radish, anyway? It's like an apple did it with an onion.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Marge: Homer, that's too much sugar.
Homer: It's not sugar, it's carmel!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: (About the Merry Go Round) Can I go again?
Homer: All night, baby.
(Bart and Lisa groan.)
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I think the hook is touching my brain.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer!
Lisa: Bart!
INS Man: Portuguese Fausto!
Fausto: Ay! Yi! Yi!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 18 Episode 9: "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II"

Homer: Give back that Holiday cheer, you bastard!
The Grumple: Never!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Gil is eating chocolates from a heart-shaped box)
Gil: Hey Homer, it's Valentine's Day, what are you getting the misses?
Homer: (angrily) A heart-shaped box of chocolates!
 • Rating: Unrated

Gil: Aw, come on, you can't say no to Gil.
Marge: (Loudly) NO!!!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Marge, admit it. You just can't say no to anyone. That's why you have three kids.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: I'm so sick of Gil, he ruins my Thanksgiving, uses my leg razor to peel his carrots
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why--Christian charity.
Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 18 Episode 8: "The Haw-Hawed Couple"

Marge & Homer: Go love making!
 • Rating: Unrated

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