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Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)

Bart

Accountant: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair?
Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?

Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.

(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!

Homer

Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?

Homer

Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!

Selma: For some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe it's the bang up job he did raising you.
Homer: He was a great Dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!

Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!

(To Selma in their honeymoon suite) Now to do something I've been looking forward to my whole wedding day. (Abe takes off his shoes.) Oh, I'm glad I waited.

Grampa

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Marge: Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.

Yokel child: Hey, you're one of those funny people with a big, crazy nose!
Krusty: A clown?
Yokel child: No, a j--
Krusty: Joker! That's right. And I'm not a practicing Joker so I'm not that offended.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 374 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

Did someone say snack?

Homer

I'm so sick of Gil, he ruins my Thanksgiving, uses my leg razor to peel his carrots

Marge
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