The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 18 Quotes
Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)
Bart
Accountant: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair?
Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?
Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.
(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!
Homer
Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?
Homer
Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!
Selma: For some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe it's the bang up job he did raising you.
Homer: He was a great Dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!
Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!
(To Selma in their honeymoon suite) Now to do something I've been looking forward to my whole wedding day. (Abe takes off his shoes.) Oh, I'm glad I waited.
Grampa
Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.
Marge: Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.
Yokel child: Hey, you're one of those funny people with a big, crazy nose!
Krusty: A clown?
Yokel child: No, a j--
Krusty: Joker! That's right. And I'm not a practicing Joker so I'm not that offended.