The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)

Bart

Accountant: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair?
Homer: I've got three bathrooms, don't I?

Selma: Now, we are on our honeymoon
Grampa: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa.
Selma: Whoa boy.

(about nursing home) This place is way too expensive. I saw you doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle!

Homer

Dad, do you know what you were kissing? Do you? Do you?

Homer

Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!

Selma: For some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe it's the bang up job he did raising you.
Homer: He was a great Dad! Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents!

Patty: Hello, Homer.
Homer: (screams) Selma!
(Patty takes pin out of hair)
Patty: It's me, Patty.
Homer: (screams) Patty!

(To Selma in their honeymoon suite) Now to do something I've been looking forward to my whole wedding day. (Abe takes off his shoes.) Oh, I'm glad I waited.

Grampa

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Marge: Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.

Yokel child: Hey, you're one of those funny people with a big, crazy nose!
Krusty: A clown?
Yokel child: No, a j--
Krusty: Joker! That's right. And I'm not a practicing Joker so I'm not that offended.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 374 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

Bart: Finally someone who does whatever I say!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I shaved my head like you told me.
Bart: Get lost!
Milhouse: Yes, master!

Did someone say snack?

Homer