The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 18 Quotes
Reverend Lovejoy: I have a friend, I mean, a friend of a friend...
Homer: (Very loudly) Sex problem, eh?
Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, our marriage needs this bed!
Helen Lovejoy: Our marriage needs it more!
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, I am reminded of the story of wise King Solomon.
Homer: Pfft. You would be.
Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!
Simpson drops the ball. And he kicks it. And kicks it again. It's horrible, but you can't take your eyes away. It's like watching a monkey swallow a hand grenade.
Announcer
Marge: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard?
Homer: It's like our honeymoon all over again! Aw, we even have the same bum looking at us.
Bum: I knew you kids would make it! (poking Homer's stomach) Man, you got fat.
(to Helen) You put on the Michael Bolton CD, I'll put on my edible vestments!
Reverend Lovejoy
Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? The kid who dropped that easy fly ball? You stink like a Dutchman's throwup!
LaBoot
Coach: Let me get this straight. You want our boys to play a fake rematch against Springfield so your son can make the catch he missed and feel better about himself?
Marge: Exactly!
Coach: I guess I could, if you pretend to be my fiance when my mother comes to visit.
Marge: Okay, if you pretend to be our chauffeur at my high-school reunion.
Coach: Fine, fine, if you pretend to be a ghost in an old amusement park I'm trying to buy.
Marge: We should stop now.
Coach: Yeah.
(to Marge about her Internet surfing success) I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.
Lisa
(to Lisa) Hey, Lisa! Self-conscious about your shins? My day girls were worried about their boobs
Homer
Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!
Why am I payin' $14.95 a month for this?
</i> Moe
