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The-simpsons

Homer: Look, we're just gonna take our mattress, do a quick sweep of the medicine chest and we're outta here. (Does a sneaking effect sound of a high-hat cymbal.)
Marge: Homer!
Homer: (Stops hi-hat effect) Sorry.

Simpson drops the ball. And he kicks it. And kicks it again. It's horrible, but you can't take your eyes away. It's like watching a monkey swallow a hand grenade.

Announcer

Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? The kid who dropped that easy fly ball? You stink like a Dutchman's throwup!

LaBoot

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

Ghost Homer: You want to have ghost sex?
Ghost Marge: I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing! It's worse than nothing!
Ghost Homer: Then why were you moaning last time?
Ghost Marge: Because I'm a GHOST! Whooooo!
Ghost Homer: Aahhh! A ghost!

Marge: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard?
Homer: It's like our honeymoon all over again! Aw, we even have the same bum looking at us.
Bum: I knew you kids would make it! (poking Homer's stomach) Man, you got fat.

(to Helen) You put on the Michael Bolton CD, I'll put on my edible vestments!

Reverend Lovejoy

Reverend Lovejoy: I have a friend, I mean, a friend of a friend...
Homer: (Very loudly) Sex problem, eh?

Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!

(to Marge about her Internet surfing success) I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.

Lisa

Ned Flanders: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't.

(to Lisa) Hey, Lisa! Self-conscious about your shins? My day girls were worried about their boobs

Homer
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 374 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

Bart: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the kids made fun of him because he never graduated from college.
Kids: Stanley, Stanley, no degree! Two credits short at MIT!

Go love making!

Marge & Homer
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