Marge: A carnival? What's so romantic about this?
Lisa: Bye!
Bart: See you later!
(Bart and Lisa run off into the carnival.)
Homer: For the next two hours, we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall.
(Homer and Marge chuckle.)
Homer: That was the best Christmas ever.

Bart/Johnny Rotten: When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a thirty year business relationship!
Jimbo/Steve Jones: I told you, we should have gone with Tom Responsible.
Bart/Johnny Rotten: Slag off!

Homer: You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me?
Marge: I did tell you.
Homer: I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage! And as I recall, I was against it.

(narrating) I had finally realized every rock star's dream. Hating being famous.

Homer

Marge: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man?
Homer: Even Walt Disney?

He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.

Homer

I can't believe I got in. It's like a dream come true! An expensive dream. (Sighs)
(Marge looks at letter saying that the annual cost for the college is $3000.)

Marge

Marge: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about. A turbulent part.
Bart: Come on. More turbulent than now?
Lisa: We're in every kind of therapy!
Homer: Things happened between your mother and me that we're not proud of. It was the middle of a wild decade known as the 1990's.
Bart: The '90s? Never heard of it.

(Flashback)
Homer: You know, these Ikea foam futons do velcro together . . .
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't want to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.

Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.
Homer: Yeah, like which kid's their favorite. (whispering) It's Lisa.

Marge: (gasps as she bursts into Homer's mansion) Oh, my god, you're a junkie!
Homer: (moaning) I need it...
Marge: I'm getting you off this stuff!
Homer: But I need it!
Marge: No, you don't!
(Flash back to the present)
Marge: Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.
Homer: I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.

(The Simpsons are all huddled up near the fireplace.)
Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you just paid the heating bill!
Homer: I thought global warming would take care of it it. Al Gore can't do anything right.

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

(to Lisa) Seymour Skinner never puts all his eggs in one basket. That's why they call me "Two Basket Skinner." (pause) What? They do.

Principal Skinner

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns