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The-simpsons

Marge: A carnival? What's so romantic about this?
Lisa: Bye!
Bart: See you later!
(Bart and Lisa run off into the carnival.)
Homer: For the next two hours, we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall.
(Homer and Marge chuckle.)
Homer: That was the best Christmas ever.

Bart/Johnny Rotten: When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a thirty year business relationship!
Jimbo/Steve Jones: I told you, we should have gone with Tom Responsible.
Bart/Johnny Rotten: Slag off!

Homer: You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me?
Marge: I did tell you.
Homer: I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage! And as I recall, I was against it.

(narrating) I had finally realized every rock star's dream. Hating being famous.

Homer

Marge: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man?
Homer: Even Walt Disney?

He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.

Homer

I can't believe I got in. It's like a dream come true! An expensive dream. (Sighs)
(Marge looks at letter saying that the annual cost for the college is $3000.)

Marge

Marge: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about. A turbulent part.
Bart: Come on. More turbulent than now?
Lisa: We're in every kind of therapy!
Homer: Things happened between your mother and me that we're not proud of. It was the middle of a wild decade known as the 1990's.
Bart: The '90s? Never heard of it.

(Flashback)
Homer: You know, these Ikea foam futons do velcro together . . .
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't want to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.

Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.
Homer: Yeah, like which kid's their favorite. (whispering) It's Lisa.

Marge: (gasps as she bursts into Homer's mansion) Oh, my god, you're a junkie!
Homer: (moaning) I need it...
Marge: I'm getting you off this stuff!
Homer: But I need it!
Marge: No, you don't!
(Flash back to the present)
Marge: Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.
Homer: I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.

(The Simpsons are all huddled up near the fireplace.)
Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you just paid the heating bill!
Homer: I thought global warming would take care of it it. Al Gore can't do anything right.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 194 in total

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.

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