The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 24 Quotes
Marge: I think I hear a slight accent.
Woman: Mid-Atlantic.
Marge: *gasp* That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!
What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
Homer
Anything new that wanders into this house ends up in the stew pot.
Cletus
Bart: Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Seymour: Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.
All my extra credit points are like frequentflier miles on a bankrupt airline.
Lisa
Chalmers: I hate waiting. That's why I hate risotto.
Skinner: Even mushroom risotto?
Chalmers: What do you think?!?
Never convicted. They couldn't find the body. Anyone care for some chicken-pete-pie?
Lunchlady (on being accused of murdering her husband)
When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.
Homer
Homer: Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
Lloyd: Well, that is a big part of it.
Homer: It's okay. I know what I am.
Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
Homer
Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state til he gets back.
Moe
If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.
Homer
