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(to Homer) Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!Carl
- Permalink: Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!
Burns: You, Strawberry, hit a home run.
Strawberry: Okay, skip.
(hits a home run)
Burns: Ha-ha! I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy sir.
- Permalink: You, Strawberry, hit a home run. Okay, skip. Ha-ha! I told...
Rich Man: Would you care to bet a million dollars.
Mr. Burns: Oh, if we're going to bet, why not make it interesting?
Rich Man: What, a million dollars isn't interesting to you?
Mr. Burns: Oh, did you say a million? I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere. I thought you'd start with a small amount, then we'd slowly bait each other, and . . . well, you know how it goes. Yes, certainly, a million will be fine.
- Permalink: Would you care to bet a million dollars. Oh, if we're going to...
Well, Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while.
Mike Scoscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile.
We're talking softball,
From Maine to San Diego.
We're talking softball,
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talking Ho-mer,
Ozzie, and the Straw!
- Permalink: Well, Mr. Burns had done it, The power plant had won it, With ...
Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.Woodrow
- Permalink: Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.
Ned: I'm talking about your potty-mouth.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?
- Permalink: I'm talking about your potty-mouth. What the hell are you talk...
Damn crappy nails! Superglue my butt!Homer
- Permalink: Damn crappy nails! Superglue my butt!
Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd: Hell no.
Maude: What did you say?
Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned: Alright, that is it young man. No bible stories for you tonight.
(Todd runs to his room crying)
Maude: Weren't you a little hard on him?
Ned: Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me.
- Permalink: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables? Hell no. What ...
Jimmy: Hey, what gives?
Jimmy's Dad: You said you wanted to live in a world without zinc Jimmy. Well now your car has no battery.
Jimmy: But I promised Betty I'd pick her up by 6:00. I better give her a call.
Jimmy's Dad: Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism, there are no telephones.
Jimmy: Dear God! What have I done?
(Jimmy pulls out a gun and points it to his head and fires)
Jimmy's Dad: Think again Jimmy. You see the firing pin in your gun was made out ofyepzinc.
Jimmy: Come back zinc, Come Back!!
- Permalink: Hey, what gives? You said you wanted to live in a world withou...
(Homer tries helping the family write a letter to Mrs. Krabappel from Woodrow, informing her that he is leaving town.)
Homer: Three simple words: I, Am, Gay.
Marge: Homer, for the last time, I'm not putting that in!
- Permalink: I, Am, Gay. Homer, for the last time, I'm not putting that in!
Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow"Woodrow"
- Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
Edna: One scratch-n-win, Apu.
Apu: Mrs. Krabappel, I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices. Still teaching?
Edna: Let's see. scratches lottery ticket One more day, at least.
- Permalink: One scratch-n-win, Apu. Mrs. Krabappel, I haven't seen you sin...