The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Jimmy: Hey, what gives?
Jimmy's Dad: You said you wanted to live in a world without zinc Jimmy. Well now your car has no battery.
Jimmy: But I promised Betty I'd pick her up by 6:00. I better give her a call.
Jimmy's Dad: Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism, there are no telephones.
Jimmy: Dear God! What have I done?
(Jimmy pulls out a gun and points it to his head and fires)
Jimmy's Dad: Think again Jimmy. You see the firing pin in your gun was made out ofyepzinc.
Jimmy: Come back zinc, Come Back!!

Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.

Woodrow

Ned: I'm talking about your potty-mouth.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?

Radio: It's time for another Bill and Marty Classic Prank Call!
Bill: Hello is this Mr. Chester Sherman?
Chester: Yes.
Bill: Sir your wife is dead!
Chester: Oh...god, no!
Bill: That's right, she just walked through a plate glass window, there's blood everywhere!
Chester: But...but I just talked to her (starts crying)
Bill/Marty: (Laughs)

Homer: Barney! I lost the baby! What am I going to do!?
Barney: Don't worry. Don't worry. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make you an omelet.
Homer: Just help me look.
Barney: Are you sure? I make 'em with four kinds of cheese.

Bus Driver: Look lady, this better be good....
Marge: (Starts roaring like a tiger...the driver goes back in the bus)

Homer: Hi Barney, thanks for keeping me company!
Barney: No problem...well, well, if it isn't little Bart! Remember me, your uncle Barney! Hey Homer let me hold him.
Homer: Alright, but just be careful!
Barney: Whoa! Someone smells stinky! Oh it's me!

Selma: Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
Bart: In your bed?
Patty: Uh huh, and I shall warn you, I'm told I snore.

Homer: Let me through, let me through! I'm her husband!
Eddie: Well, that explains a lot!

Eddie: She's locked in the car and refuses to move.
Chief Wiggum: Did you flash your lights?
Eddie: Yes.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.

This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky. We've got big problems on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people. Traffic going waaaay back in both directions. And look out at the corner of 14th and Elm, because I just dropped my bagel.

Arnie

Marge: I need to unwind.
Homer: I know you do, Marge, but come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it; I'm no day at the beach either: "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"

Displaying quotes 193 - 204 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

(After Homer rejects other names for boys based on rhyming nicknames)
Marge: What about Bart?
Homer: Let's see. Bart, dart, cart, e-art. Nope can't see any problems with that.
(Missing fart due to only 4 fingers)

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!