Jimmy: Hey, what gives?
Jimmy's Dad: You said you wanted to live in a world without zinc Jimmy. Well now your car has no battery.
Jimmy: But I promised Betty I'd pick her up by 6:00. I better give her a call.
Jimmy's Dad: Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism, there are no telephones.
Jimmy: Dear God! What have I done?
(Jimmy pulls out a gun and points it to his head and fires)
Jimmy's Dad: Think again Jimmy. You see the firing pin in your gun was made out ofyepzinc.
Jimmy: Come back zinc, Come Back!!

Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.


Ned: I'm talking about your potty-mouth.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?

Radio: It's time for another Bill and Marty Classic Prank Call!
Bill: Hello is this Mr. Chester Sherman?
Chester: Yes.
Bill: Sir your wife is dead!
Chester: Oh...god, no!
Bill: That's right, she just walked through a plate glass window, there's blood everywhere!
Chester: But...but I just talked to her (starts crying)
Bill/Marty: (Laughs)

Homer: Barney! I lost the baby! What am I going to do!?
Barney: Don't worry. Don't worry. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make you an omelet.
Homer: Just help me look.
Barney: Are you sure? I make 'em with four kinds of cheese.

Bus Driver: Look lady, this better be good....
Marge: (Starts roaring like a tiger...the driver goes back in the bus)

Homer: Hi Barney, thanks for keeping me company!
Barney: No problem...well, well, if it isn't little Bart! Remember me, your uncle Barney! Hey Homer let me hold him.
Homer: Alright, but just be careful!
Barney: Whoa! Someone smells stinky! Oh it's me!

Selma: Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
Bart: In your bed?
Patty: Uh huh, and I shall warn you, I'm told I snore.

Homer: Let me through, let me through! I'm her husband!
Eddie: Well, that explains a lot!

Eddie: She's locked in the car and refuses to move.
Chief Wiggum: Did you flash your lights?
Eddie: Yes.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.

This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky. We've got big problems on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people. Traffic going waaaay back in both directions. And look out at the corner of 14th and Elm, because I just dropped my bagel.


Marge: I need to unwind.
Homer: I know you do, Marge, but come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it; I'm no day at the beach either: "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow